"Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves; vanity, to what we would have others think of us."
yeah, i'm not very vain, but i can only give so much.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
geeky pleasures and let downs
i have been watching Fringe, Heroes, and Grey's online mostly, with some Doctor Who thrown in (and disc one of season one of Ugly Betty yesterday, ty Netflix). i have been too mentally consumed with school to really overanalyze much (midterms last week and this week, such a relief to get them finished). Fringe is going slowly, Sylar returns, Grey's is merely meh (not horrible... but not great either).
The latest emotional upheaval (such as what i would usually discuss on Spontaneous Overflow, rather than here) has been WoW. After weeks of every 25 Ulduar raid being a wipe 20 times to maybe down one boss fest, i lost it in /g, to put things mildly. i have gently advised that it is ridiculous to expect the guild to be able to down anything in 25 Uld when there are guildees that never got fully geared in 25 Naxx and 10 Uld (i am one of them, this despite the fact that i have faithfully attended raids for months). As if that weren't bad enough, TPTB keep recruiting people who are incredibly undergeared, so they cannot even begin to pull their weight. i'm not exactly sure what happened, but Levi (the guild master) apparently got mad at me for being "negative" all the time (this was my first emotional outburst of any sort since Daymann and Fearhavok ganged up on me). He /g kicked me, without warning, without explanation, and put me on ignore. i have heard from a couple of people that this decision was frowned upon and it was requested but last time i was on i had yet to receive a reinvite or explanation and most of the time i'm rather disinclined to want one.
i really liked Levi when he became guild master, but since then he's been rather two faced, and seems to have the tendency to play favorites. He'll say that i'm his "go-to" hunter, but neglect to invite me to raids. My gear speaks for itself, i have one piece of 25 Uld gear (a one hand sword, ironically enough: all of our rogues use daggers, warriors and dks two-handers, so i lucked out). i have gotten a couple of pieces of 10 Uld gear, despite the fact that i have only been inside three times, and only once as part of a guild progression run, and that was because someone had to leave early and was after the newly-promoted to Co-GM Daymann had gotten Avalanche (a bow for a rogue, i kid you not). Similarly, i have only been inside 10 TOC (ToCr to some of you) three times, and never gotten any drops, just badges (which i will admit enabled me to get my one piece of T9 sooner, my shoulders). The one time we went to 25 TOC no bosses were downed.
So, just to be clear, my gear is comprised of:
T8 head (vendor)
vendor neck
T9 shoulders (vendor)
vendor cloak
T8 chest (vendor)
Naxx 25 wrists
T8.5 hands (VOA meh replacement to Hands of Taut Grip from 10 Uld)
vendor belt
T7.5 pants (VOA)
Naxx 25 leather boots
Gundrak ring
vendor ring
vendor trink
Brewfest trink (that replaced a blue heroic trink)
Malice (that 25 Uld sword)
Kinetic Ripper (10 Uld fists)
Arrowsong (Naxx 25 bow off PATCHWERK)
Okay, so, my gear could be a lot worse. i have really good vendor gear, the best available, the only available, and got the majority of those emblems doing heroics in pugs, because for some odd reason everyone in my guild doesn't want to do heroics with me. Now, the core seems to get on around noon (1 p.m server) and get saved to everything while i'm still in school. The rest just ignore me. Eggy says that people say i'm mean, i don't know what that is supposed to mean because i'm always going out of my way to be nice to people and get messed over as a result. This is truly just indicative of the fact that there is too much dps on Hakkar so it is incredibly hard to get any group, let alone one at my level (my last few pugged heroics i was doing twice as much dps as anyone else). Needless to say, i am absolutely thrilled that in the next patch Triumphs will be the new emblem because i rarely get to do the heroic of the day and everything else i don't need. All my upgrades are in Triumphs (please can i have some new pants???).
Now, i am thrilled about my two new one-handers, because i was previously swinging the staff off 25 KT (consolation prize that i got after the then-GM passed me over on the gun, which i still need): this was the first time i had ever not dual wielded. But as you can see, i'm a hunter, when i get one handers, they're cast offs: no one else wants them, no one rolled against me. The bow i have was an upgrade from the UtP bow, and i almost didn't get it because a warrior out rolled me, and he g-quit when they gave it to me. i never aimed for this bow, i wanted the gun off KT since Wrath went live, and i'm never going to get it (it's my bow off Prince, the only time it will ever drop for me again is once i get another char to 80 lol), once we started downing KT we moved on to Uld 10 runs that i was never invited to. The night before my emotional vomit, the guild ran Ony 25 (on the night i have my night class): a hunter that rarely shows up for raids and always leaves early got the gun. So i got very upset learning that. Ranged weapons have an extremely low drop rate, you can't buy them off vendors anymore, i was feeling just royally screwed.
So, i know i was qqing that night, and i'm not proud of it, but it took me over six months of simmering for it to happen. What is the point in being in a guild that doesn't down bosses for two months (except the nights i can't get on, and thus no emblems), won't do heroics with me (no emblems), won't let me into progression runs (except 25 man, we don't have enough as it is, and again big whoop we don't down anything, so just repair bills), i'm not invited to 10 man progression runs (well, 3 times in over 3 months), and the one guild puggish 10 man i only got into once, which was fun. i even go to Naxx to help others, even though i don't need emblems anymore. So, the only thing i can figure that Levi would have to go on for my "complaining" was the advice i gave when he asked for it 95% of the time. i bit my tongue on the rest. Is it really complaining to say "good job everyone" for pulling more than once every half hour (got to understand, the co-GM usually takes about 2 hours to explain fights that we all know or should know already)? Because he would do it, but yell at me when i did it. Is it complaining to say "we need to get people geared so we wipe less in 25 Uld" when i haven't gotten geared, let alone the new recruits? There is nothing else that i can do myself without Triumphs, i have everything enchanted, i have to raid to get gear to drop to get upgrades.
i loved hanging out with everyone, and generally felt more appreciated than ever before, i am completely grateful to the people who would do groups with me as much as they did, and joked around with me in raids (note: my sarcastic/ironic jokes are also not complaining, and if Elfogods can do it, so can i). i have discovered that 10 mans are the most fun, and in 25 mans everyone feels like a stranger. Some nights i just get disconnected constantly in 25 mans, and that also stinks because i'm dying, i feel like i'm letting everyone down, and there's nothing i can do about it! i already upgraded my computer, i can't afford new internet. What is most ironic about this is that the GM and co-GMs complain all the time, no exaggeration, and if they are allowed to bring down morale every single day, why is it such a big deal for me to lose it once every six months? i was online five nights a week, putting in all the effort that i could, and to get kicked was heartbreaking. i was depressed for three days, perplexed, and i still don't understand why he would kick me. Now, i feel relieved because i was constantly under so much pressure. Between work and school and WoW i was at my breaking point (thus the reason i broke). i love Who Pulled, but i don't want to be in a guild that doesn't support me, that isn't fun, that isn't going anywhere.
You have to look out for your guildees. i don't expect new gear to drop every week, but once in over six months? That's a really dry spell. If you are going to recruit undergeared people, you must gear them. Similarly, faithful members of the guild should not be ignored, put down, berated, or disrespected, period. If one puts in the work, he or she should get rewarded, and respected, not be left wondering why the GM is lying to one's face. i have to put up with that enough at work and school, i don't want to do it during my fun time, too.
So, i didn't want to leave the guild, i wasn't looking for a new one, or to return to Predestined even, but now i have to wonder... do i even want back in to Who Pulled? Forget the fact that all my "friends" are in the guild now, do they even respect me or appreciate how much i am sacrificing? i have been raiding for three years now, for a GM to just ignore my experience is short sighted. i don't have to be an officer, not everyone has to salute by any stretch, but how about a little common decency? What is the point in rewarding people who are habitually rude and/or obnoxious (well, that was a given, as they are Levi's best friends, of course he isn't going to kick them)? i don't hold up the raid, i come with my A game, doing the best that i can to perform. i have invested real money, precious time... i don't ask for much in return. Maybe i should find a new guild, but i don't even know where to start. Truth be told, i don't know what to do.
The latest emotional upheaval (such as what i would usually discuss on Spontaneous Overflow, rather than here) has been WoW. After weeks of every 25 Ulduar raid being a wipe 20 times to maybe down one boss fest, i lost it in /g, to put things mildly. i have gently advised that it is ridiculous to expect the guild to be able to down anything in 25 Uld when there are guildees that never got fully geared in 25 Naxx and 10 Uld (i am one of them, this despite the fact that i have faithfully attended raids for months). As if that weren't bad enough, TPTB keep recruiting people who are incredibly undergeared, so they cannot even begin to pull their weight. i'm not exactly sure what happened, but Levi (the guild master) apparently got mad at me for being "negative" all the time (this was my first emotional outburst of any sort since Daymann and Fearhavok ganged up on me). He /g kicked me, without warning, without explanation, and put me on ignore. i have heard from a couple of people that this decision was frowned upon and it was requested but last time i was on i had yet to receive a reinvite or explanation and most of the time i'm rather disinclined to want one.
i really liked Levi when he became guild master, but since then he's been rather two faced, and seems to have the tendency to play favorites. He'll say that i'm his "go-to" hunter, but neglect to invite me to raids. My gear speaks for itself, i have one piece of 25 Uld gear (a one hand sword, ironically enough: all of our rogues use daggers, warriors and dks two-handers, so i lucked out). i have gotten a couple of pieces of 10 Uld gear, despite the fact that i have only been inside three times, and only once as part of a guild progression run, and that was because someone had to leave early and was after the newly-promoted to Co-GM Daymann had gotten Avalanche (a bow for a rogue, i kid you not). Similarly, i have only been inside 10 TOC (ToCr to some of you) three times, and never gotten any drops, just badges (which i will admit enabled me to get my one piece of T9 sooner, my shoulders). The one time we went to 25 TOC no bosses were downed.
So, just to be clear, my gear is comprised of:
T8 head (vendor)
vendor neck
T9 shoulders (vendor)
vendor cloak
T8 chest (vendor)
Naxx 25 wrists
T8.5 hands (VOA meh replacement to Hands of Taut Grip from 10 Uld)
vendor belt
T7.5 pants (VOA)
Naxx 25 leather boots
Gundrak ring
vendor ring
vendor trink
Brewfest trink (that replaced a blue heroic trink)
Malice (that 25 Uld sword)
Kinetic Ripper (10 Uld fists)
Arrowsong (Naxx 25 bow off PATCHWERK)
Okay, so, my gear could be a lot worse. i have really good vendor gear, the best available, the only available, and got the majority of those emblems doing heroics in pugs, because for some odd reason everyone in my guild doesn't want to do heroics with me. Now, the core seems to get on around noon (1 p.m server) and get saved to everything while i'm still in school. The rest just ignore me. Eggy says that people say i'm mean, i don't know what that is supposed to mean because i'm always going out of my way to be nice to people and get messed over as a result. This is truly just indicative of the fact that there is too much dps on Hakkar so it is incredibly hard to get any group, let alone one at my level (my last few pugged heroics i was doing twice as much dps as anyone else). Needless to say, i am absolutely thrilled that in the next patch Triumphs will be the new emblem because i rarely get to do the heroic of the day and everything else i don't need. All my upgrades are in Triumphs (please can i have some new pants???).
Now, i am thrilled about my two new one-handers, because i was previously swinging the staff off 25 KT (consolation prize that i got after the then-GM passed me over on the gun, which i still need): this was the first time i had ever not dual wielded. But as you can see, i'm a hunter, when i get one handers, they're cast offs: no one else wants them, no one rolled against me. The bow i have was an upgrade from the UtP bow, and i almost didn't get it because a warrior out rolled me, and he g-quit when they gave it to me. i never aimed for this bow, i wanted the gun off KT since Wrath went live, and i'm never going to get it (it's my bow off Prince, the only time it will ever drop for me again is once i get another char to 80 lol), once we started downing KT we moved on to Uld 10 runs that i was never invited to. The night before my emotional vomit, the guild ran Ony 25 (on the night i have my night class): a hunter that rarely shows up for raids and always leaves early got the gun. So i got very upset learning that. Ranged weapons have an extremely low drop rate, you can't buy them off vendors anymore, i was feeling just royally screwed.
So, i know i was qqing that night, and i'm not proud of it, but it took me over six months of simmering for it to happen. What is the point in being in a guild that doesn't down bosses for two months (except the nights i can't get on, and thus no emblems), won't do heroics with me (no emblems), won't let me into progression runs (except 25 man, we don't have enough as it is, and again big whoop we don't down anything, so just repair bills), i'm not invited to 10 man progression runs (well, 3 times in over 3 months), and the one guild puggish 10 man i only got into once, which was fun. i even go to Naxx to help others, even though i don't need emblems anymore. So, the only thing i can figure that Levi would have to go on for my "complaining" was the advice i gave when he asked for it 95% of the time. i bit my tongue on the rest. Is it really complaining to say "good job everyone" for pulling more than once every half hour (got to understand, the co-GM usually takes about 2 hours to explain fights that we all know or should know already)? Because he would do it, but yell at me when i did it. Is it complaining to say "we need to get people geared so we wipe less in 25 Uld" when i haven't gotten geared, let alone the new recruits? There is nothing else that i can do myself without Triumphs, i have everything enchanted, i have to raid to get gear to drop to get upgrades.
i loved hanging out with everyone, and generally felt more appreciated than ever before, i am completely grateful to the people who would do groups with me as much as they did, and joked around with me in raids (note: my sarcastic/ironic jokes are also not complaining, and if Elfogods can do it, so can i). i have discovered that 10 mans are the most fun, and in 25 mans everyone feels like a stranger. Some nights i just get disconnected constantly in 25 mans, and that also stinks because i'm dying, i feel like i'm letting everyone down, and there's nothing i can do about it! i already upgraded my computer, i can't afford new internet. What is most ironic about this is that the GM and co-GMs complain all the time, no exaggeration, and if they are allowed to bring down morale every single day, why is it such a big deal for me to lose it once every six months? i was online five nights a week, putting in all the effort that i could, and to get kicked was heartbreaking. i was depressed for three days, perplexed, and i still don't understand why he would kick me. Now, i feel relieved because i was constantly under so much pressure. Between work and school and WoW i was at my breaking point (thus the reason i broke). i love Who Pulled, but i don't want to be in a guild that doesn't support me, that isn't fun, that isn't going anywhere.
You have to look out for your guildees. i don't expect new gear to drop every week, but once in over six months? That's a really dry spell. If you are going to recruit undergeared people, you must gear them. Similarly, faithful members of the guild should not be ignored, put down, berated, or disrespected, period. If one puts in the work, he or she should get rewarded, and respected, not be left wondering why the GM is lying to one's face. i have to put up with that enough at work and school, i don't want to do it during my fun time, too.
So, i didn't want to leave the guild, i wasn't looking for a new one, or to return to Predestined even, but now i have to wonder... do i even want back in to Who Pulled? Forget the fact that all my "friends" are in the guild now, do they even respect me or appreciate how much i am sacrificing? i have been raiding for three years now, for a GM to just ignore my experience is short sighted. i don't have to be an officer, not everyone has to salute by any stretch, but how about a little common decency? What is the point in rewarding people who are habitually rude and/or obnoxious (well, that was a given, as they are Levi's best friends, of course he isn't going to kick them)? i don't hold up the raid, i come with my A game, doing the best that i can to perform. i have invested real money, precious time... i don't ask for much in return. Maybe i should find a new guild, but i don't even know where to start. Truth be told, i don't know what to do.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Mortal Instruments and TV viewing
So i just finished reading City of Glass. The ending was a bit strange (her request of the angel was rather selfish, after all), but overall i liked the trilogy (though i must admit that i somewhat expect a sequel, what with Sebastian/Jonathan's disappearance... ETA: this was already confirmed by the author in August). Which leads me to question who is on the third cover of the trilogy: i had seen the thumbnail or it on the back of City of Ashes, so i just "knew" Simon couldn't be dead and assumed it was him with a quiver on his back. But since i have held Glass and discovered that it is a sword... i'm not so certain. It seems to me that they must mean it to be Sebastian, but he had the sword as Jonathan, and then his hair was the same color as his father's... and his hair was curly. So is it Simon then as i originally believed? (ETA: Simon & Schuster seem to think it's Sebastian) Incidentally, i LOVE Clary's hair on the cover of Ashes, and Jace's body on Bones just seems to me to be overbuilt, not to mention too old (he's 17 for crying out loud).
But on to TV land: i saw part of FlashForward this week, but was doing dailies in Storm Peaks trying to get enough gold together to gem my T9 shoulders. i was so not expecting Sulu to be so tough and bad cop, nor was i expecting Penny to be married to Shakespeare. i don't know, the show didn't really capture my interest, but then, i was distracted. i missed Fringe this week, i'll probably watch it today (last week i felt bad about Walter and the released seatbelt situation, and cannot believe where they're going with Charlie). i watched Heroes last night, not exactly what i was expecting. i found Matt's situation to be absolutely hilarious (i wouldn't mind hallucinating Sylar, but of course it's not exactly the same from his perspective!), though i was a bit thrown off by the "20 pounds overweight" bit. Do people still consider him to be overweight? i think his weight is perfect.
But on to TV land: i saw part of FlashForward this week, but was doing dailies in Storm Peaks trying to get enough gold together to gem my T9 shoulders. i was so not expecting Sulu to be so tough and bad cop, nor was i expecting Penny to be married to Shakespeare. i don't know, the show didn't really capture my interest, but then, i was distracted. i missed Fringe this week, i'll probably watch it today (last week i felt bad about Walter and the released seatbelt situation, and cannot believe where they're going with Charlie). i watched Heroes last night, not exactly what i was expecting. i found Matt's situation to be absolutely hilarious (i wouldn't mind hallucinating Sylar, but of course it's not exactly the same from his perspective!), though i was a bit thrown off by the "20 pounds overweight" bit. Do people still consider him to be overweight? i think his weight is perfect.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
woot, it's fall!
The weather outside is lovely, cool and drizzly. i am so excited for fall to begin! Fringe starts on Thursday, other shows will be close behind, and i have no idea where i'll find the time to watch them. At least Lost will still be on hiatus until January (is that a good thing?). There are also several new shows to try out, V being chief among them. Meh, i'll probably just stick with Fringe, Heroes, and V, but you never know... there's that one with Charlie, Penny, Sulu, and Shakespeare (/gag, he's fine, but i hated that movie).
Sunday, August 16, 2009
re: Sylar's possible gayness
So, i have been contemplating Mr. Quinto's possible gayness, and i am inclined to think that he isn't gay. From what i understand, he's Irish/Italian and went to a Catholic school. All the Catholics i know aren't into gay rights and aren't gay. However the religion and both ethnic groups are most likely members of the Democrat party, just one of those traditional things. Even if Quinto is gay, voting for Obama doesn't help him in that department, because Obama isn't pro-gay marriage, etc. It's just not one of Obama's issues, he's more into socializing the country, taking away rights, raising taxes, etc.
i always said that i would vote for Lieberman before McCain. Unfortunately, i never had a chance to vote for Lieberman (well, i could have voted for him when he was the veep candidate, but i wasn't exactly fond of his running mate). i regret voting for McCain, but tbh i was really voting against Obama and for Palin. Sorry to get political here. Really, every time i have voted, i was choosing the lesser of evils, though i do not at all regret voting for Bush that is not to say that i agreed with all of his decisions by any stretch of the imagination. i am really happy with my choice from a pro-life perspective.
Watched the episode where Geordi finally meets Leah Brahms this week, which seemed very apropos after my breakdown. Man, i cannot believe how much he makes a fool of himself with women. He never tried to find out if she was married... so embarrassing. Anyways, i'm not saying Mr. Quinto would want to marry me or anything, i was just bemoaning the fact that he's unreachable yet smack dab in the middle of my happy place all the time. Incidentally i bought a bike rack this week to put on my car so i could transport my new bike to and from school and the guy that helped me install it was really nice and flirty. It made me feel good about myself because guys don't usually flirt with me. What's funny is that he seemed to think that i'm younger than i am, while despite his two tours in the Army he is probably only a couple of years older than me, five at the most. Anyways, everyone needs to feel special every once in a while, especially when the advances aren't made by someone super creepy. Poor Claire! i just keep wondering in the back of my mind though if Elle somehow survived... Unlikely, i know, but nothing is impossible on Heroes, look at what happened to HRG.
i always said that i would vote for Lieberman before McCain. Unfortunately, i never had a chance to vote for Lieberman (well, i could have voted for him when he was the veep candidate, but i wasn't exactly fond of his running mate). i regret voting for McCain, but tbh i was really voting against Obama and for Palin. Sorry to get political here. Really, every time i have voted, i was choosing the lesser of evils, though i do not at all regret voting for Bush that is not to say that i agreed with all of his decisions by any stretch of the imagination. i am really happy with my choice from a pro-life perspective.
Watched the episode where Geordi finally meets Leah Brahms this week, which seemed very apropos after my breakdown. Man, i cannot believe how much he makes a fool of himself with women. He never tried to find out if she was married... so embarrassing. Anyways, i'm not saying Mr. Quinto would want to marry me or anything, i was just bemoaning the fact that he's unreachable yet smack dab in the middle of my happy place all the time. Incidentally i bought a bike rack this week to put on my car so i could transport my new bike to and from school and the guy that helped me install it was really nice and flirty. It made me feel good about myself because guys don't usually flirt with me. What's funny is that he seemed to think that i'm younger than i am, while despite his two tours in the Army he is probably only a couple of years older than me, five at the most. Anyways, everyone needs to feel special every once in a while, especially when the advances aren't made by someone super creepy. Poor Claire! i just keep wondering in the back of my mind though if Elle somehow survived... Unlikely, i know, but nothing is impossible on Heroes, look at what happened to HRG.
Sunday, August 09, 2009
i <3 Sylar
Well, yesterday in the wee hours of the morning i finished watching Heroes season 3. Right now i just finished watching the episode of Dragnet he was in, "Frame of Mind" (which you can watch on Hulu), a very small roll which was very Sylar-esque (perhaps what got TPTB at Heroes interested in casting him as Sylar? i mean, come on, they must have had some reason for thinking "he can play a feasible psycho" when they cast him). After taking in season 3 and Star Trek this summer i am a bigger Zachary Quinto fan than ever before. This of course brings out mixed feelings in me. i really liked the Sylar at the beginning of the season, that was trying to be a good guy, that had a chance at redemption as a member of the Petrelli family (who in themselves are completely messed up, as founders of the Company and occasional villians, yes even Peter when mixed up with Caitlin's brother). It used to be that Peter and Hiro were my favorite characters on Heroes, but now... it's Sylar.
How did that happen? Peter and Hiro are pretty undeniably good guys. But who are the two characters i would and do most regret the deaths of? Adam and Sylar. When did i become the girl who likes the bad boys? i never would have considered it of me, but it is true that i always drooled over Mr. Sark on Alias and drool even more over Sylar on Heroes. But i suppose there are other parallels, Edward in Twilight, Sawyer in Lost, Wolverine in X-Men, Mike Donovan in V, Alec in Dark Angel, Neo in the Matrix, V in V for Vendetta, nearly anything with Bill Nighy, pirates of the Caribbean variety, the list goes on and on and on. Though Elijah Wood's role in Sin City cured me of my crush on him, i have somehow developed a weakness for bad boys. This is shocking to me. i want to say that it says more for my strength of empathy and compassion than anyone else, but i know that's a load of tripe. i don't feel much compassion for a lot of the people that go through my line at work or walk by me on the street. No, this condition has been hiding in me for a long time, my first big crush was on a boy named J.P (who wouldn't give me the time of day), the next on a Tommy (who liked being chased), there was always Tim (first kiss on the cheek, totally blown out of proportion by his family), and then that anonymous boy at the pool (who was from Texas, that gave me my first peck on the lips, no matter how chaste that kiss was).
i have nearly always chosen my crushes based on looks and the same boyish tendency to pull pranks that my father has. What's so weird is that physically Mr. Quinto isn't really my type (other than the fact that he's the same height as my grandad: i <3 tall men): he's way too hairy, something that i warred with during his love scenes with Elle, and the same is true for Mr. Jackman as Wolverine. Give me the smooth bodies of Mr. Anders (Holt, really) and Mr. Trineer (mmm decontamination scene, anyone?), but then Mr. Sark had the tendency to be a pretty boy, too, so i cannot be going merely upon looks.
i think that it's not really that these men are bad, so much as the fact that they are dangerous. i mean, what about Edward is bad? Sure he killed a couple of psychos in his day, so they would stop hurting innocent people, but he's so traditional and careful that it's enough to drive anyone bonkers. Donavan and Neo and V are all freedom fighters, trying to do the right thing, though sometimes with the wrong methods. i think that what draws me to these men is really shallow but is also what psychiatrists that believe in cavemen would expect of me: i go for the guy who seems most likely to be able to protect me when things go fubar. Peter and Hiro and Matt (mmm gotta love cuddly little Matt / Eric) are definitely capable of doing that against the human element, but Sylar... for all that is strong about the rest, you've got to admit that no one can put down 5-10 members of a SWAT team with the mere flick of the wrist quite like he can. Which of course leads me to Dumbledore... who though always seemed to me to be the epitome of good was also always the most dangerous man of all, for he could bring down governments and Voldemort, had he set his mind to it (oh wait, he did).
This of course leads me to the question of whether i am only attracted to guys that are gay. i mean, there has always been the niggling question in the back of my mind about the guy i worked with in Lynchburg, we all know what Rowling says about Dumbledore, and now i've come to find out that Quinto has kissed a guy in a sauna and is mum about his sexuality in real life. For all i know he voted for Obama because he's gay, but he doesn't want to come out. And then there's T.R. Knight, another good guy that i used to be into, but also decidedly gay. Why the heck is it that i have to worry about guy's sexuality??? What is so wrong with this world that it's not enough that i have to wonder why i'm not attractive enough to a guy, but if it's because he just doesn't like girls??? i have worked with gay guys, and sat next to them in class, i'm not trying to be a hater, but now i maybe possible have to crush on them, too, and never have that emotion returned?
i don't know that Quinto is gay, only that he can act like he is, but i do know that i have this stupid tendency to fixate on men that are totally unavailable. The guy that led worship in Charlotte was the worst, one child with another on the way, and as it turns out this is nothing new. The guys who are most nice to me are inevitably always unavailable, the one flirty customer at the gas station, the soldier that sat next to me in Shakespeare, Kimbo and Robert and Justin at work. The guys who are nice to me, who get me, who care, are already married, already have the things that i want, that i guess most guys don't know that they want until they already have them, that got them kicking and screaming. And then there is my tendency to fixate on actors, to wonder "what if?" i feel like such an idiot for ever believing that i could be an actress, that i would become an actress, that Voyager or Dark Angel were ever a possibility for me (am i insane?), but that is still a small part of me. i grew up crushing on Elijah Wood, then there was Freddie Prinze, Jr. (/gag), then Mr. Sark was always in my happy place, and now Sylar? Why does this always happen to me? Why am i always alone, curled up with pillows and a dilapidated white rabbit in the dark, imagining that someone--who doesn't even know i exist--loves me?
i want to be loved, and protected, and i'm going insane because i'm alone, which so makes me unattractive to the opposite sex, but it's a vicious cycle that i don't know how to prevent. i don't want to love an Obama supporter, i don't want to love a murderer, i don't want to love anyone who doesn't love me for who i am, but i don't know how to stop. Unfortunately, i <3 Sylar.
How did that happen? Peter and Hiro are pretty undeniably good guys. But who are the two characters i would and do most regret the deaths of? Adam and Sylar. When did i become the girl who likes the bad boys? i never would have considered it of me, but it is true that i always drooled over Mr. Sark on Alias and drool even more over Sylar on Heroes. But i suppose there are other parallels, Edward in Twilight, Sawyer in Lost, Wolverine in X-Men, Mike Donovan in V, Alec in Dark Angel, Neo in the Matrix, V in V for Vendetta, nearly anything with Bill Nighy, pirates of the Caribbean variety, the list goes on and on and on. Though Elijah Wood's role in Sin City cured me of my crush on him, i have somehow developed a weakness for bad boys. This is shocking to me. i want to say that it says more for my strength of empathy and compassion than anyone else, but i know that's a load of tripe. i don't feel much compassion for a lot of the people that go through my line at work or walk by me on the street. No, this condition has been hiding in me for a long time, my first big crush was on a boy named J.P (who wouldn't give me the time of day), the next on a Tommy (who liked being chased), there was always Tim (first kiss on the cheek, totally blown out of proportion by his family), and then that anonymous boy at the pool (who was from Texas, that gave me my first peck on the lips, no matter how chaste that kiss was).
i have nearly always chosen my crushes based on looks and the same boyish tendency to pull pranks that my father has. What's so weird is that physically Mr. Quinto isn't really my type (other than the fact that he's the same height as my grandad: i <3 tall men): he's way too hairy, something that i warred with during his love scenes with Elle, and the same is true for Mr. Jackman as Wolverine. Give me the smooth bodies of Mr. Anders (Holt, really) and Mr. Trineer (mmm decontamination scene, anyone?), but then Mr. Sark had the tendency to be a pretty boy, too, so i cannot be going merely upon looks.
i think that it's not really that these men are bad, so much as the fact that they are dangerous. i mean, what about Edward is bad? Sure he killed a couple of psychos in his day, so they would stop hurting innocent people, but he's so traditional and careful that it's enough to drive anyone bonkers. Donavan and Neo and V are all freedom fighters, trying to do the right thing, though sometimes with the wrong methods. i think that what draws me to these men is really shallow but is also what psychiatrists that believe in cavemen would expect of me: i go for the guy who seems most likely to be able to protect me when things go fubar. Peter and Hiro and Matt (mmm gotta love cuddly little Matt / Eric) are definitely capable of doing that against the human element, but Sylar... for all that is strong about the rest, you've got to admit that no one can put down 5-10 members of a SWAT team with the mere flick of the wrist quite like he can. Which of course leads me to Dumbledore... who though always seemed to me to be the epitome of good was also always the most dangerous man of all, for he could bring down governments and Voldemort, had he set his mind to it (oh wait, he did).
This of course leads me to the question of whether i am only attracted to guys that are gay. i mean, there has always been the niggling question in the back of my mind about the guy i worked with in Lynchburg, we all know what Rowling says about Dumbledore, and now i've come to find out that Quinto has kissed a guy in a sauna and is mum about his sexuality in real life. For all i know he voted for Obama because he's gay, but he doesn't want to come out. And then there's T.R. Knight, another good guy that i used to be into, but also decidedly gay. Why the heck is it that i have to worry about guy's sexuality??? What is so wrong with this world that it's not enough that i have to wonder why i'm not attractive enough to a guy, but if it's because he just doesn't like girls??? i have worked with gay guys, and sat next to them in class, i'm not trying to be a hater, but now i maybe possible have to crush on them, too, and never have that emotion returned?
i don't know that Quinto is gay, only that he can act like he is, but i do know that i have this stupid tendency to fixate on men that are totally unavailable. The guy that led worship in Charlotte was the worst, one child with another on the way, and as it turns out this is nothing new. The guys who are most nice to me are inevitably always unavailable, the one flirty customer at the gas station, the soldier that sat next to me in Shakespeare, Kimbo and Robert and Justin at work. The guys who are nice to me, who get me, who care, are already married, already have the things that i want, that i guess most guys don't know that they want until they already have them, that got them kicking and screaming. And then there is my tendency to fixate on actors, to wonder "what if?" i feel like such an idiot for ever believing that i could be an actress, that i would become an actress, that Voyager or Dark Angel were ever a possibility for me (am i insane?), but that is still a small part of me. i grew up crushing on Elijah Wood, then there was Freddie Prinze, Jr. (/gag), then Mr. Sark was always in my happy place, and now Sylar? Why does this always happen to me? Why am i always alone, curled up with pillows and a dilapidated white rabbit in the dark, imagining that someone--who doesn't even know i exist--loves me?
i want to be loved, and protected, and i'm going insane because i'm alone, which so makes me unattractive to the opposite sex, but it's a vicious cycle that i don't know how to prevent. i don't want to love an Obama supporter, i don't want to love a murderer, i don't want to love anyone who doesn't love me for who i am, but i don't know how to stop. Unfortunately, i <3 Sylar.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
cold snap
Tracy walks by an ATM, and money pops out, and suddenly i realize: what if it's Micah? i feel so stupid because i didn't think of him sooner, and it was very obvious. Ten seconds later she gets into a cab, Micah is right there, and his voice has changed! Woot.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
more heroes
So, as it turns out, when i thought that i had seen the entire season 3 of Heroes, i had actually only seen about half (to the end of the "Villians" chapter). i had no idea there was more to see before this fall, but now am slowly catching up. i am confused about several points, however: how is it that Peter flew away (in "Exposed") when the last hero they showed him touch was Matt and at the meeting with Nathan he hugged his brother in order to fly away? My guess for the identity of Rebel is the Man with the Horn Rimmed Glasses, but i'm just throwing that out there. i'm currently in the middle of "Shades of Gray"... Hulu ftw.
ETA: Of course, logically, Rebel is probably the chick they showed one time in the shed in the middle of nowhere, but something about HRG is a bit off with the whole conspiracy with Angela Petrelli.
ETA: Of course, logically, Rebel is probably the chick they showed one time in the shed in the middle of nowhere, but something about HRG is a bit off with the whole conspiracy with Angela Petrelli.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
finally watched the last two episodes of Inu-Yasha
What in the world!?! That was the end??? They didn't defeat Naraku! They managed to pull in all the main characters except Kagome's family and the wolf-demon jerk, but Inu-Yasha and Kagome still haven't moved forward in their relationship and Naraku is still alive. What a lousy way to end a series. There's still the fourth movie, but my hopes aren't high for it: i saw the first 10-15 minutes of it and it didn't seem to be very good. i guess i'll have to turn to the manga for closure... if i can get my hands on it. i don't think the library has it, but maybe i can find it at Barnes & Noble.
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
title
More than anything else in the world of WoW, i think i am most proud of my titles. Why? Titles usually take some effort. Titles let other players know that you've been working your fingers off until you're blurry eyed and sleep deprived. Titles have power, there aren't that many in the game (though the number is growing). Some titles come with mounts, non-combat pets, or tabards. My titles are as follows:
Luinel, Champion of the Naaru
i wish i would have finished the Hand of A'dal quest line before Wrath went live, all i needed was the drops off the final bosses in the Eye and SSC, but i never was in a guild that got that far. Both titles have long, involved quest lines that i spent a lot of time soloing to complete (except for one summoned "boss" that i asked a shaman in my guild to help me with).
Luinel the Explorer
Super easy, seeing this above my head always makes me think of Dora.
Ambassador Luinel
This was completed before becoming a Champion of the Argent Tournament, and i am rather proud of that. i completed all the starting zone quests in Tirisfal Glades, Durotar, and Mulgore, did a little questing in the Barrens, and ultimately got the rest of the way by turning in about fifteen Perfect Yeti Hides and completing two last quests to kill nagas in the sea off Desolace.
Luinel the Argent Champion
i was already exalted with the Argent Crusade through running heroics with my tabard on, so i put on my Seal of the Dawn on and ran Strat three times, finally acquiring the Piccolo of the Flaming Fire on my last run. i even avoided trash as much as possible, only killing what i agrod and what needed to be killed to get to the Baron... the mount never dropped.
Luinel, Guardian of Cenarius
Once again, i was already exalted with the Cenarion Expedition merely from questing in Zangarmarsh and grinding a bit for the Nethercleft Leg Armor pattern back when i was a leatherworker. i was also already on my way with the Cenarion Circle because i ran AQ20 and AQ40 with Vitality shortly after the merge. To finish this i did a little questing in the area, mainly the quests in Hive'Regal for Combat Badges and killing Twilight Cultists for Encrypted Twilight Text and Twilight Trappings (which enable you to summon an elemental, which drops an Abyssal Crest. i got my rep from honored to exalted in just over two days. It was far easier to grind this rep than i expected.
Luinel the Flame Keeper
i finally completed all of a holiday's achievements: i tried so hard for Hallowed and Love Fool, but alas they simply were not meant to be.
i'm sure that i have at least one more title, but i'm too tired to remember what it is at the moment. As soon as i can log in again i'll see it and be like "duh!" and will update this post to reflect this moment of brain dead ditziness.
Luinel, Champion of the Naaru
i wish i would have finished the Hand of A'dal quest line before Wrath went live, all i needed was the drops off the final bosses in the Eye and SSC, but i never was in a guild that got that far. Both titles have long, involved quest lines that i spent a lot of time soloing to complete (except for one summoned "boss" that i asked a shaman in my guild to help me with).
Luinel the Explorer
Super easy, seeing this above my head always makes me think of Dora.
Ambassador Luinel
This was completed before becoming a Champion of the Argent Tournament, and i am rather proud of that. i completed all the starting zone quests in Tirisfal Glades, Durotar, and Mulgore, did a little questing in the Barrens, and ultimately got the rest of the way by turning in about fifteen Perfect Yeti Hides and completing two last quests to kill nagas in the sea off Desolace.
Luinel the Argent Champion
i was already exalted with the Argent Crusade through running heroics with my tabard on, so i put on my Seal of the Dawn on and ran Strat three times, finally acquiring the Piccolo of the Flaming Fire on my last run. i even avoided trash as much as possible, only killing what i agrod and what needed to be killed to get to the Baron... the mount never dropped.
Luinel, Guardian of Cenarius
Once again, i was already exalted with the Cenarion Expedition merely from questing in Zangarmarsh and grinding a bit for the Nethercleft Leg Armor pattern back when i was a leatherworker. i was also already on my way with the Cenarion Circle because i ran AQ20 and AQ40 with Vitality shortly after the merge. To finish this i did a little questing in the area, mainly the quests in Hive'Regal for Combat Badges and killing Twilight Cultists for Encrypted Twilight Text and Twilight Trappings (which enable you to summon an elemental, which drops an Abyssal Crest. i got my rep from honored to exalted in just over two days. It was far easier to grind this rep than i expected.
Luinel the Flame Keeper
i finally completed all of a holiday's achievements: i tried so hard for Hallowed and Love Fool, but alas they simply were not meant to be.
i'm sure that i have at least one more title, but i'm too tired to remember what it is at the moment. As soon as i can log in again i'll see it and be like "duh!" and will update this post to reflect this moment of brain dead ditziness.
Sunday, June 07, 2009
HBP
So we went to see Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, which was meh compared to Alias, and i saw a featurette on the new Harry Potter and a preview of it which actually contained some snippets of Harry fighting Malfoy and Snape and some inferi... which look surprisingly like Gollum instead of zombies. i believe that it was Gambon who said that this is the best Potter film yet, and after seeing the preview, i do believe it. Have to laugh about Hermione beating Ron with the book and Ron bemoaning the fact that the girls are going to kill him. i am soooo looking forward to the moments with Ginny, they never feature her enough for my liking, and i am still annoyed that they changed her patronus to a horse (the original phoenix was so much more her, and meaningful because of the events in the Chamber). i simply cannot wait to see it, i will most likely attend the midnight viewing again. It makes me want to work on my Fair Ginny sweater and knit some more house scarves. Yeah, the preview gave me chills, and ironically enough... i don't think that Dumbledore looks ostentatious enough when he's going to see Tom for the first time. Wonder if it's actually different in the film? i hate how they wash all the colors out. ): Argh, i feel like reading the books, too, i don't know that i have the time, and it will only make me more aware of the differences between the book and the movie, but HBP is probably my favorite book of the series now, and OotP was disappointing enough. Only the Dumbledore's Army scenes really made the movie bearable.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Vulcan grieving
"...Vulcan philosophy acknowledged grief as a valid response to loss. 'I grieve with thee' was an ancient formula which Surak himself had refused to renounce. While Surak had cautioned against succumbing to the debilitating emotional effects of grief, and most especially against the tendency to transform grief into a desire for vengeance and violence, he had nonetheless taught that even the most logical, dispassionate civilization must cherish life and the ties of family and community and must acknowledge and reflect upon the great cost incurred when a life, particularly that of a kinsman, was lost. Otherwise, he had written, that dispassion would become callous self-absorption, nullifying the bonds that enabled individuals to function as part of a greater whole."
~ Star Trek Titan - Over a Torrent Sea, pg. 8-9
Yeah, this is kind of bothered me in the new Star Trek, how Spock was encouraged to take revenge and didn't want to offer the Romulans any help. That's not the Spock that i know and love, the kissing on the transporter pad bothers me far less because i'm used to emotional exchanges happening their on TOS, TNG and Voyager. In many ways, i just feel that Abrams and the rest of TPTB just didn't really... get what Star Trek is about. There were far too many moments where it felt like they were trying to copy Star Wars. Star Trek is so much better than that.
~ Star Trek Titan - Over a Torrent Sea, pg. 8-9
Yeah, this is kind of bothered me in the new Star Trek, how Spock was encouraged to take revenge and didn't want to offer the Romulans any help. That's not the Spock that i know and love, the kissing on the transporter pad bothers me far less because i'm used to emotional exchanges happening their on TOS, TNG and Voyager. In many ways, i just feel that Abrams and the rest of TPTB just didn't really... get what Star Trek is about. There were far too many moments where it felt like they were trying to copy Star Wars. Star Trek is so much better than that.
Monday, May 25, 2009
gimme some candy!
After hearing about this sketch from my aunt and uncle for around a decade, i finally decided to look it up. i must admit: it is funny... though cut off at the end. ):
via videosift.com
As far as the newspaper unicorn... that would totally work these days, all one would need to do is say: "I'm Charlie the Unicorn, and i'm crazy cuz i didn't get any of that candy! Gimme some candy!" Yeah, kinda lame, but come on, it's kinda funny. Shun the non-believer!
via videosift.com
As far as the newspaper unicorn... that would totally work these days, all one would need to do is say: "I'm Charlie the Unicorn, and i'm crazy cuz i didn't get any of that candy! Gimme some candy!" Yeah, kinda lame, but come on, it's kinda funny. Shun the non-believer!
Thursday, May 21, 2009
bleeping Grey's finale
i hate that i like this show so much, people call it a stupid soap opera... but i know that's not true. These characters, maybe this season more than ever, have been moving forward. They have extramarital sex, their lives are their careers, but they love each other, they are family. Watching the finale tonight... i just got so irritated with everyone for bad mouthing George during an anonymous guy's surgery, and then... as it turned out... John Doe was George. i was crying and so not ready for that, nothing in the episode prepared me for that twist at the end, even while a part of my mind knew that there was something wrong.
i am so sick of being inundated with the war of the sexes, with homosexuality (but who knew Arizona would be pro-military?), with people being firm and knowing that they're right when all they're doing is hurting themselves and others. i don't know what to do, my life is a mess, all my fighting is getting me nowhere, but i am trying, i am trying not to complain, to have faith, when all i want to do is scream that soul mates and love and happily ever after is a bunch of b.s. because it's never going to happen for me. i thought i had it, and now he's changed, now he just wants to use me for a shoulder to cry on when he's drunk, and i can't help but still love him and i can't not answer the phone and i can't stop praying for him and it just makes me miserable. Not everything in life is about "me," one cannot always put him or herself first.
George O'Malley is my hero.
i am so sick of being inundated with the war of the sexes, with homosexuality (but who knew Arizona would be pro-military?), with people being firm and knowing that they're right when all they're doing is hurting themselves and others. i don't know what to do, my life is a mess, all my fighting is getting me nowhere, but i am trying, i am trying not to complain, to have faith, when all i want to do is scream that soul mates and love and happily ever after is a bunch of b.s. because it's never going to happen for me. i thought i had it, and now he's changed, now he just wants to use me for a shoulder to cry on when he's drunk, and i can't help but still love him and i can't not answer the phone and i can't stop praying for him and it just makes me miserable. Not everything in life is about "me," one cannot always put him or herself first.
George O'Malley is my hero.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Lost theories
First off, spoilers abound; if you haven't seen the finale, read at your own risk.
My mother and sisters (2 and 3) were incredibly upset by Juliet's death. Personally, i saw it coming, and don't actually believe she's dead. Katie and i have been discussing the parallels between her and Desmond when he turned the key. Megan doesn't necessarily believe (as Katie and i do) that Desmond was setting off an atomic bomb when he turned said key, but in both cases the protagonist was forced to go underground and manually cause a flash of light. We already know that Desmond was jumping around in time and needed a constant when he left the Island because he had recently come into contact with radiation. The question is whether Juliet, Sawyer, Kate, Jack, Hurley, Miles, Jin, and Sayid will have their timelines reset or stay where they currently are, in the past. Megan is of the opinion that Miles was right, that their actions were causing the incident, but Katie and i disagree. While the Losties were debating (and having fistfights) about the issue of whether or not the bomb should be deployed, Radzinsky was already causing the Incident. Everything metal was getting sucked into the chasm before the bomb was dropped.
i believe that the Losties will jump forward in time, but their arrival in LA is not necessarily guaranteed (i have always hypothesized that Ben wanted the plane to crash merely because Jack was aboard, however the season finale has revealed that people can only come to the Island if Jacob wishes them to). In any case, Desmond's past will change significantly, the rest of the Losties' lives have the chance to, and it is unclear if Juliet will need to come to the Island at all.
Re: the statue... i was originally under the impression that it looked like a cat from the back (i.e. Bast) but was always rather in love with the theory that it was Tawaret, the Egyptian goddess of fertility. This seemed important when coupled with the fact that women are having trouble bearing children on the Island. There are several things problematic with this, however, as Tawaret is normally only depicted with one ankh, the statue appears to be wearing male garb, and we do not actually know when the statue was destroyed (only that it is sometime after 1845). Apparently the statue has been confirmed by ABC to be said goddess, but this does not explain why in the beginning of the season finale, when the shot of the statue was shown, there were neither breasts nor a pregnant belly/hippo shape visible and the face of the statue appears to be more of the crocodile variety. What now bothers me about Tawaret is that she is sometimes married to Apep, the deification of darkness and chaos (Jacob's nemesis, anyone?).
All of this leads me to believe that the statue is actually Sobek, who is possibly Ra and possibly the embodiment of four gods at once (the ears do appear to be more hippo in nature but also match some depictions of Sobek). What is most interesting (imo) about Sobek is that some see him as evil, some good, and some say that he can repair evils that have been done. In some accounts Sobek created the universe.
Mom, for her part, sees Jacob as an embodiment of Christ, Katie sees the nemesis as Esau, some on Lostpedia seem to think that Jacob is Ra and nemesis is Moses... i would go with Jacob = Christ because of his apparent abilities to make people live forever and raise people from the dead, but i am not sure TPTB are willing to make such a strong statement. i am more likely to think that Nemesis/Esau is Ra than Jacob is. Whatever Jacob's identity is, i believe he is not evil and that he has the power to give life: case in point, when Locke fell, Jacob touched him, seemingly bringing him back to life (it had been said in previous episodes that there was no way Locke could survive that fall, apparently he didn't). Katie also notices that Juliet is the only individual not touched by Jacob in the finale flashbacks; she believes that Jacob was in the chasm with Juliet and brought her back to life (but remained unseen) so that she could set off the bomb.
Lastly, many people on Lostpedia keep referring to the cabin as Jacob's when in the finale (and earlier episodes) this is clearly confirmed not to be the case. In my opinion, the only person that we can say the cabin belongs to is Horace (whose name also has Egyptian connections, because Horus was friends with Sobek) because he built it. Of course the question still remains, who did Locke see in the cabin? All that is clear is that the man had brown eyes and long curly hair. Jacob has blue eyes, as does his nemesis (though the most obvious answer would be that it was the nemesis who was trapped there). At this point, the most likely candidate seems to be Horace himself, as he was trapped in a time loop building the cabin. My guess is that the nemesis was possessing Horace before he inhabited Locke, but this only begs yet more questions (such as was he using Horace's body or a clone as with Locke's).
As ever, i'm sure that i'm forgetting something, and by the time i remember to write it down it will have already been disproven (my statue theories have been stewing for weeks).
My mother and sisters (2 and 3) were incredibly upset by Juliet's death. Personally, i saw it coming, and don't actually believe she's dead. Katie and i have been discussing the parallels between her and Desmond when he turned the key. Megan doesn't necessarily believe (as Katie and i do) that Desmond was setting off an atomic bomb when he turned said key, but in both cases the protagonist was forced to go underground and manually cause a flash of light. We already know that Desmond was jumping around in time and needed a constant when he left the Island because he had recently come into contact with radiation. The question is whether Juliet, Sawyer, Kate, Jack, Hurley, Miles, Jin, and Sayid will have their timelines reset or stay where they currently are, in the past. Megan is of the opinion that Miles was right, that their actions were causing the incident, but Katie and i disagree. While the Losties were debating (and having fistfights) about the issue of whether or not the bomb should be deployed, Radzinsky was already causing the Incident. Everything metal was getting sucked into the chasm before the bomb was dropped.
i believe that the Losties will jump forward in time, but their arrival in LA is not necessarily guaranteed (i have always hypothesized that Ben wanted the plane to crash merely because Jack was aboard, however the season finale has revealed that people can only come to the Island if Jacob wishes them to). In any case, Desmond's past will change significantly, the rest of the Losties' lives have the chance to, and it is unclear if Juliet will need to come to the Island at all.
Re: the statue... i was originally under the impression that it looked like a cat from the back (i.e. Bast) but was always rather in love with the theory that it was Tawaret, the Egyptian goddess of fertility. This seemed important when coupled with the fact that women are having trouble bearing children on the Island. There are several things problematic with this, however, as Tawaret is normally only depicted with one ankh, the statue appears to be wearing male garb, and we do not actually know when the statue was destroyed (only that it is sometime after 1845). Apparently the statue has been confirmed by ABC to be said goddess, but this does not explain why in the beginning of the season finale, when the shot of the statue was shown, there were neither breasts nor a pregnant belly/hippo shape visible and the face of the statue appears to be more of the crocodile variety. What now bothers me about Tawaret is that she is sometimes married to Apep, the deification of darkness and chaos (Jacob's nemesis, anyone?).
All of this leads me to believe that the statue is actually Sobek, who is possibly Ra and possibly the embodiment of four gods at once (the ears do appear to be more hippo in nature but also match some depictions of Sobek). What is most interesting (imo) about Sobek is that some see him as evil, some good, and some say that he can repair evils that have been done. In some accounts Sobek created the universe.
Mom, for her part, sees Jacob as an embodiment of Christ, Katie sees the nemesis as Esau, some on Lostpedia seem to think that Jacob is Ra and nemesis is Moses... i would go with Jacob = Christ because of his apparent abilities to make people live forever and raise people from the dead, but i am not sure TPTB are willing to make such a strong statement. i am more likely to think that Nemesis/Esau is Ra than Jacob is. Whatever Jacob's identity is, i believe he is not evil and that he has the power to give life: case in point, when Locke fell, Jacob touched him, seemingly bringing him back to life (it had been said in previous episodes that there was no way Locke could survive that fall, apparently he didn't). Katie also notices that Juliet is the only individual not touched by Jacob in the finale flashbacks; she believes that Jacob was in the chasm with Juliet and brought her back to life (but remained unseen) so that she could set off the bomb.
Lastly, many people on Lostpedia keep referring to the cabin as Jacob's when in the finale (and earlier episodes) this is clearly confirmed not to be the case. In my opinion, the only person that we can say the cabin belongs to is Horace (whose name also has Egyptian connections, because Horus was friends with Sobek) because he built it. Of course the question still remains, who did Locke see in the cabin? All that is clear is that the man had brown eyes and long curly hair. Jacob has blue eyes, as does his nemesis (though the most obvious answer would be that it was the nemesis who was trapped there). At this point, the most likely candidate seems to be Horace himself, as he was trapped in a time loop building the cabin. My guess is that the nemesis was possessing Horace before he inhabited Locke, but this only begs yet more questions (such as was he using Horace's body or a clone as with Locke's).
As ever, i'm sure that i'm forgetting something, and by the time i remember to write it down it will have already been disproven (my statue theories have been stewing for weeks).
observations on finales
Re: Fringe
~ Somehow, i knew as soon as we saw Walter at the cemetery. Interestingly enough, this means that if Peter gets anyone pregnant, the results could be catastrophic. This is rather like Lyra and Will in His Dark Materials, and frustrating because i'm kind of a Olivia/Peter shipper.
Re: Lost
~ Is Ilana related to Ana Lucia? Didn't she have a sister that was mentioned, but never shown?
~ What plans does pseudo-John have for the Others exactly (as referenced when he told them to rest at the Beach Camp)?
~ Richard said: "...only our leader can request an audience with Jacob and there can only be one leader on the Island at a time..." Katie asks, "Does that mean that Ben is the leader?" This is kind of a blatant giveaway that Locke isn't the leader, which i did not see coming at all. For some reason i was blindfolded regarding "Locke" the entire season, despite the fact that in the past i was fully aware of the menacing music sometimes focused on him during the earlier seasons (causing the viewer to question whether Locke has good intentions).
ETA: Of course this also begs the question: who was the leader of the Hostiles? Richard said it was Ellie, but Ben acted like it was Widmore. Was Ellie the leader first and if so, does she get kicked off the Island, making Widmore the leader?
~ Somehow, i knew as soon as we saw Walter at the cemetery. Interestingly enough, this means that if Peter gets anyone pregnant, the results could be catastrophic. This is rather like Lyra and Will in His Dark Materials, and frustrating because i'm kind of a Olivia/Peter shipper.
Re: Lost
~ Is Ilana related to Ana Lucia? Didn't she have a sister that was mentioned, but never shown?
~ What plans does pseudo-John have for the Others exactly (as referenced when he told them to rest at the Beach Camp)?
~ Richard said: "...only our leader can request an audience with Jacob and there can only be one leader on the Island at a time..." Katie asks, "Does that mean that Ben is the leader?" This is kind of a blatant giveaway that Locke isn't the leader, which i did not see coming at all. For some reason i was blindfolded regarding "Locke" the entire season, despite the fact that in the past i was fully aware of the menacing music sometimes focused on him during the earlier seasons (causing the viewer to question whether Locke has good intentions).
ETA: Of course this also begs the question: who was the leader of the Hostiles? Richard said it was Ellie, but Ben acted like it was Widmore. Was Ellie the leader first and if so, does she get kicked off the Island, making Widmore the leader?
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