So, i have been contemplating Mr. Quinto's possible gayness, and i am inclined to think that he isn't gay. From what i understand, he's Irish/Italian and went to a Catholic school. All the Catholics i know aren't into gay rights and aren't gay. However the religion and both ethnic groups are most likely members of the Democrat party, just one of those traditional things. Even if Quinto is gay, voting for Obama doesn't help him in that department, because Obama isn't pro-gay marriage, etc. It's just not one of Obama's issues, he's more into socializing the country, taking away rights, raising taxes, etc.
i always said that i would vote for Lieberman before McCain. Unfortunately, i never had a chance to vote for Lieberman (well, i could have voted for him when he was the veep candidate, but i wasn't exactly fond of his running mate). i regret voting for McCain, but tbh i was really voting against Obama and for Palin. Sorry to get political here. Really, every time i have voted, i was choosing the lesser of evils, though i do not at all regret voting for Bush that is not to say that i agreed with all of his decisions by any stretch of the imagination. i am really happy with my choice from a pro-life perspective.
Watched the episode where Geordi finally meets Leah Brahms this week, which seemed very apropos after my breakdown. Man, i cannot believe how much he makes a fool of himself with women. He never tried to find out if she was married... so embarrassing. Anyways, i'm not saying Mr. Quinto would want to marry me or anything, i was just bemoaning the fact that he's unreachable yet smack dab in the middle of my happy place all the time. Incidentally i bought a bike rack this week to put on my car so i could transport my new bike to and from school and the guy that helped me install it was really nice and flirty. It made me feel good about myself because guys don't usually flirt with me. What's funny is that he seemed to think that i'm younger than i am, while despite his two tours in the Army he is probably only a couple of years older than me, five at the most. Anyways, everyone needs to feel special every once in a while, especially when the advances aren't made by someone super creepy. Poor Claire! i just keep wondering in the back of my mind though if Elle somehow survived... Unlikely, i know, but nothing is impossible on Heroes, look at what happened to HRG.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Sunday, August 09, 2009
i <3 Sylar
Well, yesterday in the wee hours of the morning i finished watching Heroes season 3. Right now i just finished watching the episode of Dragnet he was in, "Frame of Mind" (which you can watch on Hulu), a very small roll which was very Sylar-esque (perhaps what got TPTB at Heroes interested in casting him as Sylar? i mean, come on, they must have had some reason for thinking "he can play a feasible psycho" when they cast him). After taking in season 3 and Star Trek this summer i am a bigger Zachary Quinto fan than ever before. This of course brings out mixed feelings in me. i really liked the Sylar at the beginning of the season, that was trying to be a good guy, that had a chance at redemption as a member of the Petrelli family (who in themselves are completely messed up, as founders of the Company and occasional villians, yes even Peter when mixed up with Caitlin's brother). It used to be that Peter and Hiro were my favorite characters on Heroes, but now... it's Sylar.
How did that happen? Peter and Hiro are pretty undeniably good guys. But who are the two characters i would and do most regret the deaths of? Adam and Sylar. When did i become the girl who likes the bad boys? i never would have considered it of me, but it is true that i always drooled over Mr. Sark on Alias and drool even more over Sylar on Heroes. But i suppose there are other parallels, Edward in Twilight, Sawyer in Lost, Wolverine in X-Men, Mike Donovan in V, Alec in Dark Angel, Neo in the Matrix, V in V for Vendetta, nearly anything with Bill Nighy, pirates of the Caribbean variety, the list goes on and on and on. Though Elijah Wood's role in Sin City cured me of my crush on him, i have somehow developed a weakness for bad boys. This is shocking to me. i want to say that it says more for my strength of empathy and compassion than anyone else, but i know that's a load of tripe. i don't feel much compassion for a lot of the people that go through my line at work or walk by me on the street. No, this condition has been hiding in me for a long time, my first big crush was on a boy named J.P (who wouldn't give me the time of day), the next on a Tommy (who liked being chased), there was always Tim (first kiss on the cheek, totally blown out of proportion by his family), and then that anonymous boy at the pool (who was from Texas, that gave me my first peck on the lips, no matter how chaste that kiss was).
i have nearly always chosen my crushes based on looks and the same boyish tendency to pull pranks that my father has. What's so weird is that physically Mr. Quinto isn't really my type (other than the fact that he's the same height as my grandad: i <3 tall men): he's way too hairy, something that i warred with during his love scenes with Elle, and the same is true for Mr. Jackman as Wolverine. Give me the smooth bodies of Mr. Anders (Holt, really) and Mr. Trineer (mmm decontamination scene, anyone?), but then Mr. Sark had the tendency to be a pretty boy, too, so i cannot be going merely upon looks.
i think that it's not really that these men are bad, so much as the fact that they are dangerous. i mean, what about Edward is bad? Sure he killed a couple of psychos in his day, so they would stop hurting innocent people, but he's so traditional and careful that it's enough to drive anyone bonkers. Donavan and Neo and V are all freedom fighters, trying to do the right thing, though sometimes with the wrong methods. i think that what draws me to these men is really shallow but is also what psychiatrists that believe in cavemen would expect of me: i go for the guy who seems most likely to be able to protect me when things go fubar. Peter and Hiro and Matt (mmm gotta love cuddly little Matt / Eric) are definitely capable of doing that against the human element, but Sylar... for all that is strong about the rest, you've got to admit that no one can put down 5-10 members of a SWAT team with the mere flick of the wrist quite like he can. Which of course leads me to Dumbledore... who though always seemed to me to be the epitome of good was also always the most dangerous man of all, for he could bring down governments and Voldemort, had he set his mind to it (oh wait, he did).
This of course leads me to the question of whether i am only attracted to guys that are gay. i mean, there has always been the niggling question in the back of my mind about the guy i worked with in Lynchburg, we all know what Rowling says about Dumbledore, and now i've come to find out that Quinto has kissed a guy in a sauna and is mum about his sexuality in real life. For all i know he voted for Obama because he's gay, but he doesn't want to come out. And then there's T.R. Knight, another good guy that i used to be into, but also decidedly gay. Why the heck is it that i have to worry about guy's sexuality??? What is so wrong with this world that it's not enough that i have to wonder why i'm not attractive enough to a guy, but if it's because he just doesn't like girls??? i have worked with gay guys, and sat next to them in class, i'm not trying to be a hater, but now i maybe possible have to crush on them, too, and never have that emotion returned?
i don't know that Quinto is gay, only that he can act like he is, but i do know that i have this stupid tendency to fixate on men that are totally unavailable. The guy that led worship in Charlotte was the worst, one child with another on the way, and as it turns out this is nothing new. The guys who are most nice to me are inevitably always unavailable, the one flirty customer at the gas station, the soldier that sat next to me in Shakespeare, Kimbo and Robert and Justin at work. The guys who are nice to me, who get me, who care, are already married, already have the things that i want, that i guess most guys don't know that they want until they already have them, that got them kicking and screaming. And then there is my tendency to fixate on actors, to wonder "what if?" i feel like such an idiot for ever believing that i could be an actress, that i would become an actress, that Voyager or Dark Angel were ever a possibility for me (am i insane?), but that is still a small part of me. i grew up crushing on Elijah Wood, then there was Freddie Prinze, Jr. (/gag), then Mr. Sark was always in my happy place, and now Sylar? Why does this always happen to me? Why am i always alone, curled up with pillows and a dilapidated white rabbit in the dark, imagining that someone--who doesn't even know i exist--loves me?
i want to be loved, and protected, and i'm going insane because i'm alone, which so makes me unattractive to the opposite sex, but it's a vicious cycle that i don't know how to prevent. i don't want to love an Obama supporter, i don't want to love a murderer, i don't want to love anyone who doesn't love me for who i am, but i don't know how to stop. Unfortunately, i <3 Sylar.
How did that happen? Peter and Hiro are pretty undeniably good guys. But who are the two characters i would and do most regret the deaths of? Adam and Sylar. When did i become the girl who likes the bad boys? i never would have considered it of me, but it is true that i always drooled over Mr. Sark on Alias and drool even more over Sylar on Heroes. But i suppose there are other parallels, Edward in Twilight, Sawyer in Lost, Wolverine in X-Men, Mike Donovan in V, Alec in Dark Angel, Neo in the Matrix, V in V for Vendetta, nearly anything with Bill Nighy, pirates of the Caribbean variety, the list goes on and on and on. Though Elijah Wood's role in Sin City cured me of my crush on him, i have somehow developed a weakness for bad boys. This is shocking to me. i want to say that it says more for my strength of empathy and compassion than anyone else, but i know that's a load of tripe. i don't feel much compassion for a lot of the people that go through my line at work or walk by me on the street. No, this condition has been hiding in me for a long time, my first big crush was on a boy named J.P (who wouldn't give me the time of day), the next on a Tommy (who liked being chased), there was always Tim (first kiss on the cheek, totally blown out of proportion by his family), and then that anonymous boy at the pool (who was from Texas, that gave me my first peck on the lips, no matter how chaste that kiss was).
i have nearly always chosen my crushes based on looks and the same boyish tendency to pull pranks that my father has. What's so weird is that physically Mr. Quinto isn't really my type (other than the fact that he's the same height as my grandad: i <3 tall men): he's way too hairy, something that i warred with during his love scenes with Elle, and the same is true for Mr. Jackman as Wolverine. Give me the smooth bodies of Mr. Anders (Holt, really) and Mr. Trineer (mmm decontamination scene, anyone?), but then Mr. Sark had the tendency to be a pretty boy, too, so i cannot be going merely upon looks.
i think that it's not really that these men are bad, so much as the fact that they are dangerous. i mean, what about Edward is bad? Sure he killed a couple of psychos in his day, so they would stop hurting innocent people, but he's so traditional and careful that it's enough to drive anyone bonkers. Donavan and Neo and V are all freedom fighters, trying to do the right thing, though sometimes with the wrong methods. i think that what draws me to these men is really shallow but is also what psychiatrists that believe in cavemen would expect of me: i go for the guy who seems most likely to be able to protect me when things go fubar. Peter and Hiro and Matt (mmm gotta love cuddly little Matt / Eric) are definitely capable of doing that against the human element, but Sylar... for all that is strong about the rest, you've got to admit that no one can put down 5-10 members of a SWAT team with the mere flick of the wrist quite like he can. Which of course leads me to Dumbledore... who though always seemed to me to be the epitome of good was also always the most dangerous man of all, for he could bring down governments and Voldemort, had he set his mind to it (oh wait, he did).
This of course leads me to the question of whether i am only attracted to guys that are gay. i mean, there has always been the niggling question in the back of my mind about the guy i worked with in Lynchburg, we all know what Rowling says about Dumbledore, and now i've come to find out that Quinto has kissed a guy in a sauna and is mum about his sexuality in real life. For all i know he voted for Obama because he's gay, but he doesn't want to come out. And then there's T.R. Knight, another good guy that i used to be into, but also decidedly gay. Why the heck is it that i have to worry about guy's sexuality??? What is so wrong with this world that it's not enough that i have to wonder why i'm not attractive enough to a guy, but if it's because he just doesn't like girls??? i have worked with gay guys, and sat next to them in class, i'm not trying to be a hater, but now i maybe possible have to crush on them, too, and never have that emotion returned?
i don't know that Quinto is gay, only that he can act like he is, but i do know that i have this stupid tendency to fixate on men that are totally unavailable. The guy that led worship in Charlotte was the worst, one child with another on the way, and as it turns out this is nothing new. The guys who are most nice to me are inevitably always unavailable, the one flirty customer at the gas station, the soldier that sat next to me in Shakespeare, Kimbo and Robert and Justin at work. The guys who are nice to me, who get me, who care, are already married, already have the things that i want, that i guess most guys don't know that they want until they already have them, that got them kicking and screaming. And then there is my tendency to fixate on actors, to wonder "what if?" i feel like such an idiot for ever believing that i could be an actress, that i would become an actress, that Voyager or Dark Angel were ever a possibility for me (am i insane?), but that is still a small part of me. i grew up crushing on Elijah Wood, then there was Freddie Prinze, Jr. (/gag), then Mr. Sark was always in my happy place, and now Sylar? Why does this always happen to me? Why am i always alone, curled up with pillows and a dilapidated white rabbit in the dark, imagining that someone--who doesn't even know i exist--loves me?
i want to be loved, and protected, and i'm going insane because i'm alone, which so makes me unattractive to the opposite sex, but it's a vicious cycle that i don't know how to prevent. i don't want to love an Obama supporter, i don't want to love a murderer, i don't want to love anyone who doesn't love me for who i am, but i don't know how to stop. Unfortunately, i <3 Sylar.
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