i have been watching Fringe, Heroes, and Grey's online mostly, with some Doctor Who thrown in (and disc one of season one of Ugly Betty yesterday, ty Netflix). i have been too mentally consumed with school to really overanalyze much (midterms last week and this week, such a relief to get them finished). Fringe is going slowly, Sylar returns, Grey's is merely meh (not horrible... but not great either).
The latest emotional upheaval (such as what i would usually discuss on Spontaneous Overflow, rather than here) has been WoW. After weeks of every 25 Ulduar raid being a wipe 20 times to maybe down one boss fest, i lost it in /g, to put things mildly. i have gently advised that it is ridiculous to expect the guild to be able to down anything in 25 Uld when there are guildees that never got fully geared in 25 Naxx and 10 Uld (i am one of them, this despite the fact that i have faithfully attended raids for months). As if that weren't bad enough, TPTB keep recruiting people who are incredibly undergeared, so they cannot even begin to pull their weight. i'm not exactly sure what happened, but Levi (the guild master) apparently got mad at me for being "negative" all the time (this was my first emotional outburst of any sort since Daymann and Fearhavok ganged up on me). He /g kicked me, without warning, without explanation, and put me on ignore. i have heard from a couple of people that this decision was frowned upon and it was requested but last time i was on i had yet to receive a reinvite or explanation and most of the time i'm rather disinclined to want one.
i really liked Levi when he became guild master, but since then he's been rather two faced, and seems to have the tendency to play favorites. He'll say that i'm his "go-to" hunter, but neglect to invite me to raids. My gear speaks for itself, i have one piece of 25 Uld gear (a one hand sword, ironically enough: all of our rogues use daggers, warriors and dks two-handers, so i lucked out). i have gotten a couple of pieces of 10 Uld gear, despite the fact that i have only been inside three times, and only once as part of a guild progression run, and that was because someone had to leave early and was after the newly-promoted to Co-GM Daymann had gotten Avalanche (a bow for a rogue, i kid you not). Similarly, i have only been inside 10 TOC (ToCr to some of you) three times, and never gotten any drops, just badges (which i will admit enabled me to get my one piece of T9 sooner, my shoulders). The one time we went to 25 TOC no bosses were downed.
So, just to be clear, my gear is comprised of:
T8 head (vendor)
vendor neck
T9 shoulders (vendor)
vendor cloak
T8 chest (vendor)
Naxx 25 wrists
T8.5 hands (VOA meh replacement to Hands of Taut Grip from 10 Uld)
vendor belt
T7.5 pants (VOA)
Naxx 25 leather boots
Gundrak ring
vendor ring
vendor trink
Brewfest trink (that replaced a blue heroic trink)
Malice (that 25 Uld sword)
Kinetic Ripper (10 Uld fists)
Arrowsong (Naxx 25 bow off PATCHWERK)
Okay, so, my gear could be a lot worse. i have really good vendor gear, the best available, the only available, and got the majority of those emblems doing heroics in pugs, because for some odd reason everyone in my guild doesn't want to do heroics with me. Now, the core seems to get on around noon (1 p.m server) and get saved to everything while i'm still in school. The rest just ignore me. Eggy says that people say i'm mean, i don't know what that is supposed to mean because i'm always going out of my way to be nice to people and get messed over as a result. This is truly just indicative of the fact that there is too much dps on Hakkar so it is incredibly hard to get any group, let alone one at my level (my last few pugged heroics i was doing twice as much dps as anyone else). Needless to say, i am absolutely thrilled that in the next patch Triumphs will be the new emblem because i rarely get to do the heroic of the day and everything else i don't need. All my upgrades are in Triumphs (please can i have some new pants???).
Now, i am thrilled about my two new one-handers, because i was previously swinging the staff off 25 KT (consolation prize that i got after the then-GM passed me over on the gun, which i still need): this was the first time i had ever not dual wielded. But as you can see, i'm a hunter, when i get one handers, they're cast offs: no one else wants them, no one rolled against me. The bow i have was an upgrade from the UtP bow, and i almost didn't get it because a warrior out rolled me, and he g-quit when they gave it to me. i never aimed for this bow, i wanted the gun off KT since Wrath went live, and i'm never going to get it (it's my bow off Prince, the only time it will ever drop for me again is once i get another char to 80 lol), once we started downing KT we moved on to Uld 10 runs that i was never invited to. The night before my emotional vomit, the guild ran Ony 25 (on the night i have my night class): a hunter that rarely shows up for raids and always leaves early got the gun. So i got very upset learning that. Ranged weapons have an extremely low drop rate, you can't buy them off vendors anymore, i was feeling just royally screwed.
So, i know i was qqing that night, and i'm not proud of it, but it took me over six months of simmering for it to happen. What is the point in being in a guild that doesn't down bosses for two months (except the nights i can't get on, and thus no emblems), won't do heroics with me (no emblems), won't let me into progression runs (except 25 man, we don't have enough as it is, and again big whoop we don't down anything, so just repair bills), i'm not invited to 10 man progression runs (well, 3 times in over 3 months), and the one guild puggish 10 man i only got into once, which was fun. i even go to Naxx to help others, even though i don't need emblems anymore. So, the only thing i can figure that Levi would have to go on for my "complaining" was the advice i gave when he asked for it 95% of the time. i bit my tongue on the rest. Is it really complaining to say "good job everyone" for pulling more than once every half hour (got to understand, the co-GM usually takes about 2 hours to explain fights that we all know or should know already)? Because he would do it, but yell at me when i did it. Is it complaining to say "we need to get people geared so we wipe less in 25 Uld" when i haven't gotten geared, let alone the new recruits? There is nothing else that i can do myself without Triumphs, i have everything enchanted, i have to raid to get gear to drop to get upgrades.
i loved hanging out with everyone, and generally felt more appreciated than ever before, i am completely grateful to the people who would do groups with me as much as they did, and joked around with me in raids (note: my sarcastic/ironic jokes are also not complaining, and if Elfogods can do it, so can i). i have discovered that 10 mans are the most fun, and in 25 mans everyone feels like a stranger. Some nights i just get disconnected constantly in 25 mans, and that also stinks because i'm dying, i feel like i'm letting everyone down, and there's nothing i can do about it! i already upgraded my computer, i can't afford new internet. What is most ironic about this is that the GM and co-GMs complain all the time, no exaggeration, and if they are allowed to bring down morale every single day, why is it such a big deal for me to lose it once every six months? i was online five nights a week, putting in all the effort that i could, and to get kicked was heartbreaking. i was depressed for three days, perplexed, and i still don't understand why he would kick me. Now, i feel relieved because i was constantly under so much pressure. Between work and school and WoW i was at my breaking point (thus the reason i broke). i love Who Pulled, but i don't want to be in a guild that doesn't support me, that isn't fun, that isn't going anywhere.
You have to look out for your guildees. i don't expect new gear to drop every week, but once in over six months? That's a really dry spell. If you are going to recruit undergeared people, you must gear them. Similarly, faithful members of the guild should not be ignored, put down, berated, or disrespected, period. If one puts in the work, he or she should get rewarded, and respected, not be left wondering why the GM is lying to one's face. i have to put up with that enough at work and school, i don't want to do it during my fun time, too.
So, i didn't want to leave the guild, i wasn't looking for a new one, or to return to Predestined even, but now i have to wonder... do i even want back in to Who Pulled? Forget the fact that all my "friends" are in the guild now, do they even respect me or appreciate how much i am sacrificing? i have been raiding for three years now, for a GM to just ignore my experience is short sighted. i don't have to be an officer, not everyone has to salute by any stretch, but how about a little common decency? What is the point in rewarding people who are habitually rude and/or obnoxious (well, that was a given, as they are Levi's best friends, of course he isn't going to kick them)? i don't hold up the raid, i come with my A game, doing the best that i can to perform. i have invested real money, precious time... i don't ask for much in return. Maybe i should find a new guild, but i don't even know where to start. Truth be told, i don't know what to do.
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