nothing to report

Since i wrote my last post i haven't even managed to log in. I've started training for triathlons again and every time i sit down at the computer i don't feel like i have enough time to play, so i end up reading about triathlons instead. I'm about to go on a run. Maybe i can get on for a little bit afterward. This evening my sister has a basketball game. Which is what happened to my evening a week ago. That and Warm Bodies.

not again

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Kristi, why do you keep going back to this game?  It's been about a month since your last membership expired, why are you so quickly going back?!?

Well because for some reason i miss it. I want to finish up on Loremaster. I miss leveling, exploring all that Azeroth has to offer.  I miss the good old days, but even after the cataclysm i just cannot bear to be away from friendly dragons, and Sneaux (the primary pet my hunter uses), and the fact that this is the only area of my life where i can make a goal, reach it, overcome problems, etc.

I feel stupid, and i know i don't have time to be anything more than a casual, but dang it i've been sucked in again if only for a little while.

ETA: In case you're wondering how far away i am from Loremaster, it basically comes down to needing to finish a mere two zones Eastern Kingdom, two in Northrend, two zones in Pandaria, three zones in Outland, and eight zones in Kalimdor. I feel a teensy bit upset by EK and Kal because i did most of the quests in those zones pre-achievements, but their quest counters were reset in the Cataclysm and now have to do all of the new quests in these zones. Had i had more foresight i would have finished all of those zones off pre-Cata, though i didn't have the money for a subscription at the time of the pre-xpac events, so that's probably the biggest reason why it didn't happen. I didn't come to Cat until a couple of months later, while with Wrath and MoP i was on shortly after midnight on launch day.

Last night i worked on the Cape of Stranglethorn. I had been given credit for Northern Stranglethorn when in reality i did all of the quests in the old Stranglethorn and have only done 18 quests in new N Stranglethorn (mostly ZG and that chains for the panther cub and hatchling, i suspect) and had done none in the Cape on Luinel (which is my oldest character so i figure will be the easiest to finsih with). So i was killing a lot of pirates yet again. Fortunately it was an okay quest chain and i was listening to Ender's Game.

Right now i am starting to quest in Searing Gorge which i haven't really quested in since before Wrath. I know that i did some quests here during BC and my initial leveling, back when you had to go to more than one zone of the same level range to get enough xp to ding.  But i know we didn't linger there, and i doubt we came close to clearing the zone.  I hate the zone's dark appearance (it seems ironic that Sungrass grows there) and never really saw the point in it. I've never learned how to smelt Dark Iron, i don't know if there's even a use for it anymore. I usually only came here as a ghost and then ran back to dungeons or raids under BRM.

I suspect i will have finished EK off tonight and will then go to polish off OL, where there are three zones with an average of eight quests left for me to complete. I'm not sure if i will go to Northrend or Pandaria next but i suspect i will save Kalimdor for last.  But i expect to have this all done within a fairly short amount of time. I've already been working on it without really trying too hard for a long time.

just throwing it out there

Saw the Hobbit for the second time this evening with my loyalty pass (yay, free viewing).  I still need to reread the book (it's probably in Las Vegas at this moment with one of my sisters) and despite the misgivings of a Ringer friend i find that i like it quite a lot.  It feels more like a kid's film in some ways but i didn't find that to be detrimental.  The thing that bothered me the most is how much music was recycled from Lord of the Rings.  There was some new music, of course, that was wonderful, but Aragorn's theme for Thorin?  The Fellowship theme for the Company?  Dawn at Helm's Deep when the eagles are saving the dwarves, if i'm not mistaken.  I swear if we're watching the next film and they start playing Lothlorien music in Mirkwood that i will throw something at the screen.  Was i the only person thinking about a towel when Bilbo wanted to go back for his handkerchief?

Awkward "affection" moments with leading men...Alice Eve rubbing her nose on DT's shoulder in Decoy Bride.  Benedict Cumberbatch licking/kissing his sister-in-law's armpit in The Last Enemy.  Prince licking Queen's face in Mirror Mirror. Multiple scenes in Game of Thrones.

Upon my latest viewing of the Star Trek Into Darkness trailer i have a new theory about who Cumberbatch might be playing.

reading a Game of Thrones

and comparing it to the show, of course.

I do believe Tyrion means to call in his debts about the deception of his brother and wife eventually.

Dany is going to kick everyone’s butt with Mormont at her side.

Arya is going to make a great boy.

Where can i watch season two online? Netflix doesn’t have it. ):

Why i'm thinking about quitting WoW

Some things that i've read and seen recently have helped put things into perspective.

1. The game has lost its sense of adventure. Progression is meant to happen through getting better gear which enables you to tackle harder content. This better gear + content getting easier every couple of weeks nonsense is ridiculous. The content no longer has any meaning because if you wait a month or two it will be easy even if you don't upgrade your gear. Epic fail.
2. The culture is doing it wrong...mediocrity is praised while excellence is detested.
3. The hunter class still feels gutted and amputated.  My playing has suffered over the past two expansions and i no longer feel capable or skilled. Nothing makes sense anymore.
4. Garrosh is alive and the Horde is being destroyed...too close to real life for my taste.
5. I'm bored with it. Normally i adore doing heroics, but lately it feels like driving an ice pick through my skull. Scenarios are pointless (might be better with new patch, but i'm not holding my breath).
6. My net is insufficient (too slow) unless i'm home alone and very lucky.
7. Except my one friend, no one cares that i'm in the guild. I do not feel welcome, i don't know anyone except one guy from my original guild, there is no sense of camaraderie or belonging. All my attempts to socialize are ignored.
8. I am always broke in game. Many dailies seem too difficult (killing monkeys in two different zones being chiefly on my mind), take too long, and have very little reward.
9. I have no time to play. I work "part time" but it feels like it's full time and i am poor, exhausted, and feel like logging in is a waste of valuable time.
10. Professions seem more difficult and more expensive than ever. And with the new Harmony...it is incredibly difficult to even be able to craft.
11. Honor is incredibly hard to get now. I have gone into multiple bgs and have like 300 hp to my name. I have no idea where to buy new PVP gear and can't afford it anyway. It seems my old gear is now useless.
12. Pet battles are boring. The content i want to experience is unobtainable. Farming for whelps and mounts for years has been not nearly as successful as it feels like it should have been. I will never have enough gold to buy what i want off the BMAH.

I won't say that i'm quitting forever...i've tried to do that before but always come back. I am saying that there is zero incentive for me to keep playing right now. I don't even give a care about raiding in the current environment.  I never got to experience the last expansion's content really, at least not to my satisfaction, and the entire point is to spend time with people that i like and who like me. I wouldn't mind extreme soloing but it doesn't feel obtainable right now. Unless i find someone or ones to play with in an adult, respectful, fun manner...there is no reason for me to ever come back.  Blizzard has made it abundantly clear that they could care less about my opinion or experience (which has been horrible of late). So i am stepping away indefinitely. D3 and MoP both feel like duds and i feel cheated. I have a couple weeks of play payed up yet, so i'm sure i'll try out the new patch (haven't had the chance yet, i'm working 9-10 hour shifts), but i do not have high hopes for it.

first impressions

So today is the first day off i've had since Mists went live and so far i have mixed feelings.  Right now i can't even log in to the game because of some glitch with their log in servers, so that's frustrating.  I've been playing the game more than i should (i.e. staying up until 4 a.m. even though i have places to be at noon the next day) and so far i can't tell that i'm making much progress.

The first thing i wanted to do was level one of my 85s to 90.  Luinel has the best gear, and though i keep telling myself that hunters aren't my friend anymore...she is who i chose.  I am more excited about engineering than leatherworking or alchemy,   She's my highest level cook.  She's just the instinctive choice for me.  And she is proving to be easy to play...i love fervor, have considered trying out BM (probably won't happen), want to tame some new pets maybe...but there's a couple of things that are bothering me.

1. I can't tame the battle pets when i'm getting off the zeppelin.  So i get on an alt and start working on that for a while, because it's driving me bonkers that i can't tame this raccoon one in particular.  I don't understand why we didn't get a chance to play this early (i feel it would have made up for the lack of world event, in a way), and now it's really pissing me off.  I just want to lvl, and my most played character should be able to experience all of the content in a zone while she's lvling through it.
2. I feel like it's taking forever to ding 86.  This might be because i keep getting distracted by shiny, but so far i am not feeling immersed in Pandaria so much as claustrophobic.  When you get off the zeppelin you can't even go down to the beach, you're trapped on a cliff.  Then you're surrounded by mountains that you can't fly around, and paths never go straight, so you're running in circles on a mount that's slow as molasses after being used to flying everywhere.  I have to save Nazgrim's green butt AGAIN?!?  I was fine with it in Vashj'ir but now it's getting old.  I don't want him to be following me around forever and be treated like i'm the one following him around.  These quest chains...they seem easy, straightforward, i'm blowing through them, and i only get half a percent for turning one in.  WHY?!?  So i can do a twenty-quest chain and get 10% xp.  I notice that they changed the achievements to not reflect how many quests you've done in a zone but to reflect which chains/achievements are in the zone.  There's like 12 for the Jade Forest and i've only done two and i feel like blowing my brains out.  I feel like i've played eight hours there, that might not be accurate, but eight hours in a Stranglethorn Vale/Sholozar Basin hybrid is just horrific.  I finally got out from behind the mountain and found a temple hub that is mildly more interesting and allows me to finally interact with someone that isn't in a village with an uptight mayor that seems hostile to my presence.  Maybe that will help.
3. I don't even like Hellscream, why am i even on Pandaria?  Without a world event and no Theramore lore in game the cutscene was very jarring.  I know intellectually of course, but there's no explanation in game why we're suddenly attacking Theramore and Alliance ships.  Luinel apparently is too much of a peon to be let in on the plan.  If i were RPing this would be totally bogus.  Why is Luinel still doing his dirty work?  So the entire premise of this expansion is that we should be fighting against the other faction more (who gives a care) but that, oh no, we need to have more inner peace and fight less but it is good to fight if we have something worthwhile to fight for.  What?  Sure, but how does that apply to anything that's going on in game?  Why should i even want to be recruiting the Pandas when i don't even like the faction i'm fighting for anymore?  I mean i do, i love being a member of the Horde, but the Horde has already been fractured and needs to be healed or broken apart for good.  To me, the story should be getting rid of Hellscream already, because Sylvanas and Vol'Jin have both obviously been plotting as of the beginning of the last xpac (wrote a post on that a year ago).  So now they're just going to ignore that?  No payoff???  The entire premise for this expansion should be to get rid of Hellscream.  I want him to be the final xpac boss.  There, i said it. xD
4. We have come to an understanding with TPTB that most of the quests that we don't feel comfortable completing will eventually prove that our character is doing the right thing despite instructions.  I learned this very early (case in point, i disciplined Ralen and Melador, and they're still hanging out in Eversong Woods while i have explored two worlds).  But this is taking that really far and i'm starting to get worried.
5. There is any heirloom gear for 85-90?!?  I guess this is probably pretty normal, but right now it stinks.

So today the plan is to actually get on my Panda Monk for the first time.  The first thing i did when MoP went live was to make her and a Panda Mage but i haven't played either.  I've captured a lot of battle pets and gotten the core of my team to lvl 5-6.  Other than that continue to wade towards 86.  I'm 2/3 of the way through the level i think, and cannot wait to actually get into the lore and the game some more.  Hoping it's there...will write more in the near future.

the woman in the red dress

I've been hankering to do some sewing lately.  Some geek related sewing.  I explain more on my knit/sew/diy blog.

Stargates

I thought i would have written a post about this by now...but i have started to watch Stargate, and more recently, Stargate Atlantis.  I'm not really sure anymore why i even started watching Stargate Universe.  I vaguely remember seeing part of the second part of the pilot on TV and wanting to know what happened.  There were definitely actors that i know from other programs...Ming Na, Christopher McDonald, Lou Diamond Phillips, and Robert Carlyle.  It's not like i was a fan of any of them, but i was interested in seeing more.  In fact, i like how actors from other sci fi shows tend to show up (John de Lancie, Marina Sirtis, Armin Shimerman, John Billingsley, Kevin Durand, Grace Park, Aaron Douglas, Tahmoh Penikett, and Alessandro Juliani, just to name a few...though some of these actors may have been on SG-1 before the show i know them from).  So i eventually made the effort to watch SGU.  There was so much i didn't fully understand, which show it came from, where it worked into the lore, and i still don't, but it made me interested enough to go back and try watching Stargate again.

I was never a fan of the Stargate film.  I don't think i could really understand what was going on, and didn't care for then-O'Neill and then-Jackson.  I know i tried watching the show on more than one occasion...but i have no idea what episodes i saw and decided that i didn't like.  So far, i only remember seeing one episode of the first season before...one that featured Teal'c hiding in an abandoned apartment building while sick.  So since watching SGU i had been considering going back to the beginning of Stargate and seeing if i could get into it now that i've aged a bit.  Plus there was a certain part of me that was nostalgic to see Richard Dean Anderson in something again (i really liked MacGuyver when i was a kid, though i hardly remember any of it now).

So i started with season one and have been working my way though from there.  I just finished season six.  I like the humor in these shows, and they have a certain predictability to them.  It's not that they're boring (well..sometimes they are), it's that i can figure things out, they follow a pattern that ends in a pleasing way.  No matter how bad things get you know that SG-1 will figure out a way to get out of the bind they're in.  And the humor...O'Neill's humor appeals to me in particular.  The writers', producers', whoever PTB, their sense of humor just leaves me in stitches from time to time.  And i would say that i hate the obligitory end-of-the-season flashback episode...except they have done some really original things with some of them.  Humorous and relationship-changing things.  And of course...the obligatory ship.  I want O'Neill and Carter to end up together.

As far as the content...okay, i'm a little tired of the Ancients stuff at the moment.  The whole "we're too impressive to die" and the "we're on a higher plane so we can't be bothered to help our grandchildren or any other innocents" tripe is getting to me (moreso now that i've started watching Atlantis).  From my pov, death isn't a bad thing, so i'm not sure that's a message that's good to send, but i know that i'm probably alone in this.  I want to know more about the Ancients, especially how it relates to SGU, but SG-1 just appeals to me more.  I like the characters on Atlantis, but the missions can be pretty lame.  SG-1 goes through phases, so SA might improve, but right now i just am tired of them being stranded (couldn't Earth have at least dialed to say hello/are you still there already?) and their prefer ship-in-a-bottle episodes usually.  The Wraith are cornier than the Goa'uld...dark in a different way, and i'm not sure i like it.  But the Ancients, if they were as wonderful as we are lead to believe in SGU, certainly seem too fallible.  Why doesn't the stupid city have solar panels or cold fusion or SOMETHING to recharge its batteries?

It's interesting, most of SG-1 happens/originates from Earth.  The crew visits a new planet every week (for varying lengths of time), but the show is centered around the secret facility.  Stargate Atlantis turns out to be the same way, set in a very static place (though it has a sense of mystery and hostility that doesn't exist on Earth.  SG-1 sometimes brings the danger home with them, but SA lives in the middle of the danger).  It wasn't until SGU, i guess, that they graduated to the Star Trek thing of actually flying around from planet to planet to explore the galaxy as a thing that is just as regular as using the stargate.

What i love about this show and its spinoffs is that they make fun of themselves, are not afraid of being nerdy/geeky, and blatantly so.  There is so much techno babble.  Now on SG-1 this works really well because Carter, Jackon, or Teal'c will brief O'Neill, who acts everyman/dumb, and has something amusing to say about it, and his heroism is so ordinary, he doesn't even act like it's a big thing, and i love that.  But it's not really working on Atlantis.  What is Weir a doctor of exactly?  She's not a scientist, she's not a medical doctor, she doesn't seem to be anything but an administrator.  There was this one episode where a (fake) Hammond tells her that she's not going to be in charge of the project anymore and she's shocked and i'm thinking...why?  What has she even contributed???  She's not a scientist, she looks at all the facts and makes a decision, but half the time that decision doesn't make sense and is overruled by Sheppard or ostensibly unforeseen circumstances.  She lacks credibility and her main function seems to be exposition and that's it.  I can't even ship her with Sheppard.  I kind of ship him with Teyla but not really.  I dig Teyla's outfits.  Now Teyla, she is a strong leader even while she retains her femininity.  But the show is really stolen by McKay for me (who i never would have thought that i would like when i first saw him on SG-1 and SGU).

Overall...i do like this series (and to a lesser extent its spinoffs).  I'm not going to say that it's my favorite, but it is definitely worth watching.  Right now SG-1 has ended on a high point for me and i can hardly wait to see the next season.  And of course i keep hoping that O'Neill and Carter will have more relationship development.  I can dream, can't i?  But what i like about the Stargate is how it takes old questions (to me, a long time sci fi addict) and turns them on their head to look at them a slightly different way.  It's more military than Star Trek, and i like how SG-1 in particular is unapologetic about it (though their guns are often very obvious, it's also closer to our current military reality, i'm sure).

The irony is that MacGuyver refuses to use guns.  I just finished the first season of MacGuyver and was surprised that i didn't remember any of the episodes.  Well, i remembered one line of one episode, but that was all i remembered about that episode.  So i guess i didn't start watching it at the beginning.  So far, the pilot has been my favorite episode.  It got a little better at the end of the season but i'm not really enjoying it all that much so far.  Maybe it gets better later on?  Maybe it's one of those shows that you can't really watch later on because it's so dated.  I felt very insulated from the Cold War as a child, only knew about it from War Games and one other kids film as i recall (the name of which escapes me at the moment), it did not feel real to me as a child at all.  But MacGuyver deals with it quite a bit.

One of the things i don't like about Mac is how he's kissing a new woman every other episode.  But i have realized something, partially because of who produced/created the show:  Terry Nation.  You know, the man who created the Daleks?  The reason Mac doesn't use a gun...is because he's the Doctor without a Tardis.  He seems to nearly-instantly travel around the planet, and he fights humans rather than aliens, but he's the Doctor, no doubt.  He uses what's on hand to save the day, rights wrongs, interacts well with children, the whole she-bang.  So i guess that when i was watching Mac as a kid what i was really doing was getting ready for the Doctor.  Does that mean that Richard Dean Anderson is my first Doctor?

well this is bogus

So, after a lengthy updating, "optimization", etc., i now have to download over half a GB.  The P2P download isn't working, so it's not going as quickly as it could.  I have subpar internet, which is why i made sure to download as soon as possible and well before patch day.  I guess it's too much to ask for TPTB to actually provide the entire download ahead of time.  At this rate...i'm not going to be playing WoW again for four days from what i figure.  I hope i'm doing the math wrong. /facepalm

ETA:  I did the math wrong.  I'm 1/4 through the download, so hopefully i'll be able to play tomorrow. I have the early shift unfortunately...though it does mean that i get off work earlier, it also means that i can't stay up late and play as soon as the download is complete.  Unless it speeds up and finishes in the next hour and a half. xD

the final hours before 5.0.4

I keep saying that i'm not going to play my hunter as my main anymore.  That never happens.  Oh, to be sure, i played my shaman a lot in Cata.  She dinged 85, she healed heroics, and even occasionally in a raid (very occasionally), but i still played Luinel the most...and it looks like that trend is likely to continue.  But i also leveled a druid to 82, another druid to 66, my original priest to 76, another priest to 63, and a new orc to 51 very quickly.  I haven't been faithfully playing most of these characters lately, but part of what was so amazing about all of this is that i've now played two Allies into Nagrand and that i only have heirlooms on one server.  I played a warrior to lvl 22 and actually enjoyed it...and discovered that i hate playing a paladin (and reinforced that i hate playing a dk).  It seems like i usually hate pure melee classes.  My rogue i used to enjoy but abandoned (i might return to her after getting my priest to 85) and my main druid has gone boomkin with occasional healing thrown in to change it up.  It's becoming easier and easier to level, some of the leveling experiences i once had are now lost forever, and my alts are getting to higher and higher levels.

My biggest focus has not been raiding in this expansion.  I really wanted to get Lui up to 100 mounts and i did manage that.  There are some mounts out there that i still haven't been able to obtain (a ultramarine battle tank, more drakes, a fire bird, etc.) i did get my violet proto-drake and the long-elusive polar bear.  I'm currently working on the companion pets now more than i used to, mostly from Wrath or older, and i know that there are a ton of Cata companions out there that i just haven't gotten around to yet.  Tonight i rounded out my engineering pet collection with the Tranquil Mechanical Yeti (did the quests to learn the schematic and farmed enough mats to make two, one to learn, one to sell).  I'm still working on the green, red, and black whelps and firefly off and on.  I'm gradually trying to get more of the Argent Tournie mounts and companions, too, but it's slow going and kind of tedious.

Which brings me to my companion pet team...i still don't know a lot about it, but i think i'm going to go with Azure Whelp, Snowshoe Rabbit (Run away!), and...i don't know, my Crawling Claw?  Little Fawn? (supposedly has decent heals)  Phoenix Hatchling? A mechanical/engineering pet?  It probably depends which character i'm on to a certain extent.  I don't plan to have only one team.

Anyways, right now i'm at 82/100 companions and i plan to get farther before MoP goes live.  Right now i am eager to see the changes that are coming down tomorrow and wish there were more happening right away.  No pet battles, no pandaren, no monks, no Theramore (at least i think that's what i read at WoWInsider).  I gave up on downloading the beta last night, uninstalled it all for the last time.  It had finally stopped the constant crashing but was way too slow to be practical. I'm ready for tomorrow (unless there will be additional patching coming down tomorrow), but it's going to be really weird not have a melee weapon on Lui.

What am i going to do when MoP comes down?  Roll a pandaren monk.  Probably roll another pandaren, i just haven't decided which class to go with.  I have a feeling that i'm going to like playing a panda a lot.  Anyways, i just wanted to check in.  Wish i didn't have to work tomorrow because i want to be online as soon as possible, which is probably ridiculous at this point, but i am excited even though the expansion isn't coming down yet.  Now if i could only sleep.

why we fight in pandaria and gotham

This past week i saw the new Mists of Pandaria cinematic and the Dark Knight Rises. I was thinking about MoP while i watched DKR. Let me just say...i'm not really a Batman fan. I like the new films a lot more than the old ones, but i don't love them by any stretch. They are dark compared to the Marvel comic films and Batman is too whiny for me. This one in particular is violent (per usual) but what i think really got to me was Bane's voice more than anything. He makes Darth Vader look like a kitten! Most of the time i had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, though. I must say that i was pretty happy about who he ended up with in the end.

biting the bullet

I was just out of town for nearly two weeks on vacation and didn't get to play much in the week leading up to the trip.  Well i have been semi-keeping up on WoWInsider but i haven't been playing nearly as much as i would like to.  But i have been excited about the Mists release date...which is later than i expected but still super soon.

So i know that i said i wasn't going to be paying for anything until the beta was fixed...but that was when i was really mad in May.  It's been ages now.  I'm over it (even though the people at Blizz were super unhelpful and in no way professional when they were cancellingmy tickets without even properly addressing them or trying to help at all) and am whipped.  I want to play a panda and i am excited about some of the hunter changes i've been reading about even if i still feel screwed over as a hunter and as a shaman.  It may be stupid but i paid for the digital edition (addition? lol) today.

I am fully aware at this juncture in my gaming career that i am probably going to regret doing this, but i'm sticking with the game at least until Christmas (at least, that's when i'm paid up to).  If they let me down, if they screw me over even more, so help me i am quitting for good.  But with much regret.  Yeah, don't quote me on that.  They own me, unfortunately.  Ho hum.

ETA:  Wow that sounded depressing.  I still love leveling.  I always miss old content from the good old days (well...BC, as i wasn't around during vanilla).  My issues are with the fact that i am on a low pop server that i love and have no wish to leave but that has been ravaged post-BC.  I can't find a guild where i fit and most of the people i used to hang with have left the game.  No one has room for me in their raids and i have been forced to become a more casual player than i'd really like.  Yes, i dream of not having to work and being able to play 24/7.  Actually, i would get bored of that very quickly, but to have that kind of time to be able to play, write, etc., would be completely awesome.  Unfortunately i have to work post-graduating from college for very obvious reasons.

As a frequenter of heroics i can tell you that i don't hate the content, i hate the fact that most PUG tanks are complete idiots and jerks (arrogance seeming to be a pre-requisite) and most dpsers are completely ignorant to the point of taking noob to new levels.  I was once a newb, i have always tried to help them as much as possible, but these people don't want to be helped.  They want to get through content as quickly as possible whereas most of the time i would much rather savor the experience.

There's something that's been lost...a sense of danger.  These kids just walk up to a boss and slap them across the nose.  I remember a time where it felt scary to enter new areas, where there was strength and safety in numbers.  Heck, i remember what it felt like to go to UC the first time (from SMC).  I ported, looked around at the locale, and freaked out.  I was sure that it had to be somewhere dangerous and my newb self did not feel prepared to handle it.  I don't think that i even had a pet yet.  Everything feels much safer now, smaller, contained, tamed.  I'm not sure that i like the direction that this x-pac is taking, but if Garrosh gets supplanted by Sylvanas or Vol'Jin then i will be okay, otherwise what the frak.

The only reason it makes sense (to me) to get rid of Thrall is so that the Horde will attack Theramore and that doesn't make any sense to me at all.  Wrong enemy entirely.  Jaina has been a friend to us, our ally/ambassador to the humans.  Why would you piss her off?  She's not the opposite of Sylvanas at all (though that's how she's been portrayed in certain raids/dungeons).  It's not that she isn't powerful...it's that she's a sleep dragon.  Only a fool would wake a dragon up on purpose.

Anyways...mixed feelings.  I don't like feeling that something i have been faithful to for years is thumbing their nose at me rather than being faithful back.  Maybe they don't care because they have a constant stream of incoming players, but the original base has thinned out enough without them actively trying to push us out.  So they better come through for me is all i'm saying.

Melancholia

I know this is an older film but i didn't see it until recently.  I didn't even hear of it until after it was no longer in theaters.  I love science fiction and i tend to appreciate disaster flicks.  I knew this movie was going to be different but i wasn't prepared for just how different.  The film is divided into three parts: artistic morphing photographs that foreshadow the rest of the film, a wedding reception, and what happens when Melancholia flies by.

Doesn't Play Well with Others

I have spent my entire life as a loner.  It's something i wonder about, how i got stuck in the corner and have never been able to find my way out.  It started about the time i went to preschool and seemed to just snowball from there.  I as socially awkward and/or inept.  I am always alone.  I seem to have missed a memo or a dozen about certain social niceties and rules that are inexplicably complex.  I alternate between wanting to do what others expect and, quite honestly, not giving a frak.  I have asked a couple of people to explain it to me, and they all unfortunately declined, but i quite frequently feel as if the entire universe has it out for me, as if they hate and barely tolerate me, as if no one likes me and everyone only wants to use me.

At school this was a simple assumption.  I had few friends to speak of, and most were hinding things from me.  Those people who were sometimes nice to me, sometimes not, always wanted something from me (for example, help with homework).  Between telling me to my face that i was fat, using me and then ignoring me, being rude when i refused to be used, it was all discouraging.  This is all completely separate from the psychologial anguish i went through in volleyball, band, and praise team at church.  But this has become the story of my life with work and college only becoming new variations on this theme.

On WoW, things have taken a slightly different form.  In BC, sometimes this was guildees wanting to be carried in dungeons/raids only to abandon us once they had better gear.  From Wrath onward it has taken a more painful route...younger men wanting to use me as a sympathetic ear about their problems, usually involving women, but not always.  These "men" generally still live at home, have little to no real responsibilitiy in RL, have more time online than they really need to have, and are better geared than i am.  They give me gifts that i do not ask for, gifts that do not mean a lot to them but seem extravagant to me.  And then they proceed to pull me down emotionally.  They spend all their available time with me for a while, then disappear.  The emotional toll of this is personally high.  It's not that i get too involved, it's that it's very draining and frustrating.  I don't know how to set good/healthy restrictions, i don't know how to handle them, i drown and then they cut and run.  The main reason i let them do it?  Because they are the only people who give a frak about me.  They're the only people who will help me or spend any time with me at all.  No other guildees gives a frak about me, i have no other friends, etc.  I hate it.

Right now i am most upset about Blizz and WoWInsider.  With Blizz, i pay for a service, it doesn't get delivered, i ask for help, i am ignored.  With WoWInsider i applied for a job and received no response...but even more i leave a Q4tQ and am ignored.  I comment on the Blizz forums and receive little to no response.  What response i receive is not helpful.

I hate being ignored.  I hate being alone.  And yet both are a perpetual state for me.  I did not choose this.  Everywhere i go, this is how i am treated, and it hurts.  It's frustrating.  It's exhausting.  And i feel like it permeates every area of my life, both RL and online, my writing, any online community i try to join, people use me and dump me, people shut me out and hurt me.  Everything is pain and there's never any gain, but without the pain there never will be any gain.  What the frak am i doing wrong?

more download fail

Yesterday when i got home from work the D3 downloader wouldn't work.  I got a little worried and immediately started to copy the files to my backup hard drive, something that i hadn't done in a while.  I thought my automatic backup would do it but for some reason it didn't.  Anyways, to make a long story short, i only got half of my ~95% download copied over before the downloader deleted all my progress and started again at zero.  I was back to 49%.  Overnight it only got up to 53% before crashing.

So this morning i tried transferring the downloader and my progress to my netbook...  I thought it might work better and maybe i could go to my aunt's house for an hour or two and download it with her super fast net.  Well the stupid downloader deleted what i had put on the netbook and started at zero again.

Really?  Am i going to have to download D3 illegally in order to use what i legally own?  Epic fail.

ETA:  Can it be illegal when i legally own it?  When the company that sold it to me refuses to provide me with a functioning product?

d3 annoyance, minecraft black hole

So as most of you probably know if you're reading this blog for the WoW updates, Diablo 3 finally went live eight days ago.  I have been trying to download D3 on and off since March 18.  Unfortunately the downloader doesn't quite work as well as it should.  The only thing i can figure is that it's meant to be a background downloader.  It never downloads at a speed that would prohibit one from doing other things online.  Over the course of the download i think that i have uploaded more than i have downloaded via the P2P and when i tried to download directly without P2P the download would be slowed to a trickle and quickly become non-existent at all.

I'm not sure that i'm upset about how slow things have been (much slower than if i were able to use my download accelerator) because i am sure that a lot of people have been trying to download it as the same time as me.  No, i'm annoyed that the downloader crashes constantly.  There's no error message, it just inexplicably decides to close itself rather than do its job.  If i set it up to download overnight then it will not even get through half a percent before crashing.  So i only got to 20% before last week because it slipped my mind after the first few nights of this nonsense.  It wasn't until about ten days ago that i started making a more concerted effort again.

But of course it isn't even enough to have the downloader running in the background while you're still using the computer.  That seemed to help, but around about 45-46% the dang downloader was so slow that i was sure there was something wrong with it, and it was closing itself nearly instantly.  So i got fed up and decided to see if there was a fix and/or new downloader on Sunday (May 20).  This is after trying to download for hours four days in a row and getting only 25% completed.  Perhaps this is because so many other people were trying to download at the same time, but i figured that i was being sly using the old downloader while other people would be using the new one.  No such luck.

So Sunday morning i downloaded the new launcher before church after discovering that my overnight download had gotten absolutely nowhere.  Wasn't i surprised when i discovered that the D3 launcher is broken just like the MoP beta launcher...it won't get past the "Updating Setup Files" window and the D3 "fix" that people were advocating was using the old downloader.  I was more than a little upset about this on Sunday.  I have personally known about this issue for a month (though it feels like twice that amount of time) and not only has Bizzard done absolutely nothing about it but they are basically shipping a product that they know isn't going to work.  That or ignoring their beta testers.

Now the common response to this on the forum was "you don't get to complain because you didn't pay for the game."  On the contrary, i am paying $120 as opposed to the $60 the rest of you are paying!  There is no way that i would have committed to playing WoW for an entire year without the Annual Pass guarantee of 1) "Free" copy of Diablo 3 and 2) Mists of Pandaria beta invite.  So far my $120 has gotten me absolutely nothing but broken promises.  This is $120 that i cannot even afford to be spending, and in reality it is an installment plan with four months of free WoW.  That is what i am paying for because of my loyalty to the game.  A game that i know doesn't ever really live up to its promises but that i cannot stand to stop playing because i love it so much anyway.

So instead of staring at "Updating Setup Files" perpetually i decided to stick with the old downloader and hope that the game will work when i'm finished and not have to be patched with the broken launcher.  I am going to be very upset if the game doesn't work after spending so much time restarting this downloader!  And it required me to find something to do on my computer while i was babysitting the downloader.

Basically i got sucked into the black hole that is Minecraft fairly recently and over the past three days i built my wolf pack (why are they always underfoot but only fight for me about half the time and get in the way when they are fighting?), wheat and pig farm, and underground home complete with adjacent lighthouse tower and moat defense system.  What's really pissing me off at the moment is that i seem to have lost experience somewhere (and i haven't died lately...) and there is a nearby dungeon or cave with lots of mobs in it that i cannot find anywhere.  So any time i am in my home there is the perpetual sound of water, zombies moaning, and skeletons clinking.  I got fed up with that last night.  I cannot tell which direction the sounds are coming from at all.  I think i'm going to build a basement next.  The irony about my cave home?  When i first found this cave a creeper blew me up and then i couldn't find it again before my game crashed and all my supplies and xp disappeared.

In my first Minecraft world i got to lvl 16 and stumbled upon a village.  I then found a shaft in the middle of the village that went down to lava and somehow got pushed in while a zombie was pushing me uphill.  I died, the game crashed, and when i went back the village and shaft were no more but one of my dogs was sitting in the middle of a new forest waiting for me to come back.  I was so upset that i deleted the entire world and started again.  I do have a cave near my spawn point for that world but i'm not really enjoying this world.  There seem to be more creepers in this version, ender men and iron are abundant, but i have yet to find redstone, gold, or diamond.  I found some clay but have yet to use it and have been thinking about taming an ocelot.  I play the game entirely too much...and secretly wish i could find a Chip's Challenge or Lego texture pack.

Anyways, if i am downloading while reading fic or playing Minecraft then the D3 downloader seems to be much less likely to close.  It still happens from time to time but it allows for downloading over greater lengths of time.  If i go afk to watch a movie in the next room for example the downloader will always close while i'm gone within the first 30-60 minutes.  If i'm on my computer it only happens once ever few hours.  But since Sunday i have gotten over the ~45% hump and am now over 90%.  By this evening i should be able to log into D3 only a week later than expected.  God willing.  I am so sick of Blizzard's stuff not working, it makes me sad.